Well it seems to me that whenever I get depressed, this god forsaken thing gives me something to do to help pass the time until life gets a little better.  So, where to begin... I am lonely.  There have been so many people in my past who cared about me, but I always mess it up.  I am growing weary of the same trends.  It has occurred to me that my ( Read more... )

Well I quit. I give up on Monique. I know it goes against everything I have said the last 2 weeks, but I can only take so may "fuck you"'s. Sorry for all the shit I caused everyone. I suppose I am going to go try and find something to take my mind off of everything. I still love her, but it means nothing when she hates me.

If that silly little qauiz wasn't the most accurate thing in the world I wouldn't post it.

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Tonight was pretty good, depressing, but good. I spent the night with he best friend. I saw why this is. He listened to me talk for probably four hours straight, and tried to offer some insight into what I should do. I spent most of that time telling him about the past, and what has been going on. The rest of the time was either silence, or ( Read more... )

I haven't made any progress. I feel like I am stuck on ice and my wheels are spinning but i am not getting anywhere. I talk to her for an hour each day via phone/aim. It isnt helping though. I need her back more than I think she knows. I cry everynight, for screwing such an amazing thing up. She is the only part of my life that is missing now ( Read more... )

It can't be over. I feel like I had a scratch ticket, and it was blown from my hands. Then later I discover that the ticket w worth a billion dollars. Even that come nowhere close to her worth to me. That, and monry doesnt mean anything anymore. I know that, because I have spent money on something that may not ever happen. That is strage for ( Read more... )

I talked to her last night, and then fell asleep with a mind full of burden. I awoke this morning, to the same thoughts buzzing...err drilling in my skull. I went to school, but skipped my second class to catch the train for Boston. I got there around 11, and ran around trying to get what I had decided I wanted. It consisted of roses, a card, a ( Read more... )

What have I done? I need help. I have screwed up so badly. I should have known this would happen. Hell, my mother did. Every winter it's the same thing. Relizing the truth to what I have been doing my whole life, I see that it isnt me. I consist of two people. Normal me, and depressed me. I can no longer function as both. If it means I ( Read more... )

So apparently random people have taken an interest in me. Whatever. Everyone tells me to "look on the bright side", that is crap. The bright side is gone. The world has rotated beneith me. Now I am here in a seemingly eternal darkness. The only solution I see is to move on. Move west, where the sun still shines. It may not be the best ( Read more... )