I've always been described by my loved ones as someone who isn't disturbed by much. I've written so many times about feeling a rift between myself and others because I'm not surprised by much, not even events in movies that most people would call grotesque. Since I've noticed that rift, I've found an intense need to find any and all movies and ( Read more... )

A further note on the “Ambivalence and Ambiguity” entry. Tonight some friends and I were talking about various issues surrounding people’s religious beliefs (like abortion and birth control) and I realized that the major problem that I have with organized religion isn’t necessarily the ideas and beliefs shared by those belonging to those religions ( Read more... )

Recently, I've been considering becoming a vegetarian. Frankly, I know that animals will still be mistreated and mercilessly slaughtered in numbers excess of what we really need regardless of my personal eating habits. However, I do think it will be healthier for me and I don't like meat all that much anyway. But... I do like meat sometimes ( Read more... )

I was reading this article about and interview with Todd Bertrang. (He’s a big-time piercer and does extreme body modification, like clitorodectomies). In the interview, he was talking about how he thinks that everyone who chooses to modify his or her body is doing it for sexual reasons, especially if he or she gets his or her nipples or genitals ( Read more... )

I was randomly reading about Orlando Bloom, the person who plays Legolas in "The Lord of the Rings" films. In his biography there was a bit about how he broke his back and he was faced with the prospect of never walking again. He says a good deal about how it changed his perspective on life. It caught my attention and for the past few days I ( Read more... )

Tonight’s the first night since I stopped taking my medication that I’ve felt really terrible. The good part is that I’m not dissociating or cutting myself. I just feel so out of touch with all my friends. I don’t feel like anything I say is very interesting to them. So, I stopped talking. Every once in a while I would absent mindedly say ( Read more... )

Ever since I started therapy, I've been on medications to help control the symptoms I experience. I've shown stability on anti-depressants. They seem to help stabilize my mood. However, I've been on just about every anti-psychotic and anti-convulsant there is in order to combat my dissociation (which, for me, can be anything from a mere ( Read more... )

As my bio states, I'm 20 years old and I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't generally introduce myself that way, but since I'm not staring into the face of another person, that's a good way to describe me. I hate to admit it, but I live and breathe my illness. I was diagnosed when I was 19, although I have been battling with it for ( Read more... )