SO i had my first break down of the summer...that one took a while...i feel like a worthless fuck head...i am not doing anything productive..i am an asshole......i feel like shit...i hate it here...i hate myself...i hate boredom...i hate not having my freedom...i hate...i hate i hate bitching .....i hate not being able to help myself.......i hate ( Read more... )

I have the best boyfriend ever and that is all i can say

Why do you do it to yourselfs...why do you lie to yourselfs over and over...you think the others lie when it is you....why don't you see...i can't understand...somebody tell me...if that fuck exist with all he is said to be, them he should be cast into nothingness.

I wish people be direct with me... Not give off handed comments, not say ambiguous things...not direct things at me but not say that they are at me... and most of all don't blame me for what you have done

tear out my eyes you say they are a blessing but now they are a curse
tear out my mind you say one thing and it knows another
tear out my heart because i can feel everything you try to hide..

I don't know what to write, right now. I don't know what to feel either. I feel betrayed, i feel hated, i feel guilty, i feel sad, i feel helpless, i feel worried, i feel like cry, like locking myself in that small cold closet and never letting light show through again. How does everything always roller coaster from pretty alright to completely ( Read more... )

I am confused. Why are people afraid to talk to me. Uh whatever i don't care i am not afraid to talk to them so. yeah\

I don't know...i feel cut off...i don't know what it is....I feel reminicent and i miss people. ALot. I miss my religious debates with shawna and her comforting me...Jason in eighth grade, listen to punk music, just sitting there in silence and getting him. Caila when she lived her..i see her but i remember just chatting at lunch or hanging at her ( Read more... )

hehe that was neat...uh can't wait until next time

so today was the seniors last day...i never think i really felt lose like that before...i cried for like 2 hours after school...and i don't cry...even though i am emo...i marks a change and everything will change...we sat in eat'n'park and talked about memories and candace and i the only two who weren't senior were the only ones crying. haha it ( Read more... )