so, the morning I posted my last entry, October 22nd, I asked Steph back out that day, and it's been going great, better than ever, ever, ever =] I had read over a lot of old things and realized that I wasn't getting lost in the past, I wasn't getting randomly angry over things that were over and done with and that I couldn't control. I was letting ( Read more... )

the irony of my last post and the present and the time in between all of that is just so fucking amusing.
I will resort to this for my thoughts.
keeping a diary always helped me, even if I was at the end of my rope...which is saying something.

still with Steph.
"with"...cause yeah it's that same routine as always.
it's just how it is with us.
I want that ( Read more... )

I've done horrible things.
And yet, I'm free.
I can't describe it...
I don't know if I want to.
Someone. Keep. Me. Sane.
Yes. I'm begging you.
 

I saw Steph on Monday, and we saw Hotel For Dogs lol =] it was pretty good ^_^
and we be texting now. like always lol...
there's nothing to really say.
I moved back in with my grandmother...and am job hunting at the moment.
sooo yeah...hmmm...
*dance dance*
I hope things stay this good...or better =D
peace~

*dances in circles*
I've never been happier, ever.
Which I never thought would be possible again, lol! =D
SO, Friday, I got to go to the movies with Steph!!! Sam, Elizabeth and Anna went as well, and we all saw Caroline! =D I held her hand during the movie, it was a bit awkward cause I was nervous lol...but when Sam and I were leaving, I got to kiss ( Read more... )

SOOO new job...lol this one's a bit out there...
Substitute daycare teacher =D
I'll be overwhelmed but at least it's a challenge hahaha...

hmm. I miss my Steph <3
that's about it.

so eventful.
ANDDD OMG I got to see her last week!!!
<3333333333333333333333333333
HAPPYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
I think I already bragged...I don't remember lol
it was just so great =DDD
< ( Read more... )

"11. You can make me cry out of love and happiness instead of pain and sadness."
this is SOOO it.
my final resting spot.
Steph is the one.
That is the very fucking end.
If I fuck this up, I am dead.
She's all I have now.
6 hours on the phone...the most serious shit we've ever talked about...and she is saying that...
THIS IS IT!!!
My heart wants to EXPLODE.
( Read more... )

I really don't get this, but I guess I have no choice but to keep going, just to see if I'll ever get it.
I doubt I will; this life isn't meant to be understood really. Once it's too late, I'll know everything I should have known from the start.
I really need sedation.
I haven't had enough, even with all of this mess I've put myself through.
There's no ( Read more... )

It's a bit strange, even scary when you see friends you've known for so long just collapsing around you, all in different ways. I suppose it's life taking it's toll...and yet, no matter how many times you hear about it from your elders, see it in movies, read about it in books, or fear the ways it will happen, it always just...surprises you...
I  ( Read more... )

*****RANTRANTRANTRANTRANT*****

I haven't slept for 2 days, and other than the basic irritability, I would be FINE, but of course not, today was randomly a fucking bad day!!! Let's begin!!!

Strike 1. My phone. I understand I text a lot. However, I don't see why my battery dies, and then when I get it on the charger, it double dies. It won't turn on, ( Read more... )