Where does an Iowan bacterium vote for its favorite presidential candidate from a particular party?

A StaphyloCAUCUS.

:(

A monthlong winter vacation is doing precious little to slow my apathetic decline into tempting, tempting entropy, but this morning I picked up my chemistry textbook and read two paragraphs of material that we covered in the previous semester. Well, what can I say? Successes have to begin small ( Read more... )

i want a do-over in life.

starting ~6th grade.

A bunch of rebellious printers decided to stick it to the man by forming a punk-rock band. They called it Paper Jam.

Bindi Irwin -- that wonderfully Dark Crystal Muppet-esque daughter of the late "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin -- has entered the rap game. She performed her new single this morning on Today, a hip hop-influenced song about nature conservation, with four gay backup dancers called the Crocmen. Leave a comment

"So, you know, I just took some wine, you know? Because I thought it would be cool to just steal it and not have to pay for it, you know?" she asked earnestly.

"Yeah, sure," I said absently, surreptitiously checking to make sure that my cell phone, keys, and wallet were still in my pocket.

What did the systole say in its valentine to a diastole?

-I lub you!

(for everyone who learned systole-diastole as lub-dub, lub-dub)

Why couldn't the bacterium process lactose?

It lac-ed the operons!

a sphag* hag: a woman who likes to take blood pressure

*sphagmomanometer = blood pressure cuff

What does Man Ray eat with his s'mores?

photograham crackers