friends only ( Read more... )

today, Tony and i have been together for one year.

it feels weird.

i'm getting married on halloween.

going back and reading old LJ entries is not a good idea when you're already exhausted and in an odd mood.

i hate how i do this to myself.

( Read more... )

going back to florida. moving in with my grandmother temporarily. our time here at the lair has run out, the roomies are moving next month.. and being that i haven't yet found a job, tony and i can't really afford our own place. we asked his parents if we could move in with them temporarily and kick them a couple of bills a month so that we can ( Read more... )

i like how right after i write a note in a christmas card telling you how much i love you and appreciate you and am so sorry that things have been so rough and that i'm so difficult to deal with sometimes.. you decide to pitch a fit and be a total dick about something so stupid.

happy fuckin' holidays, y'all.

i don't know who i'm kidding. this isn't ever going to go away. probably because i still don't feel like it should be my responsibility to work on it.

oh well.

he did it because not only was he scared, but he also didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her that he couldn't do it. didn't want her to get depressed and hurt herself because he couldn't sext with her anymore? in all the bitching and moaning she did after i moved here about 'oh now that she's there it's like i'm not as important anymore' ( Read more... )

i need help. i can't keep living like this, and doing this to myself.

too bad no one wants to talk or listen.

meh.