I'll always be okay. And I'll always know the future. And I'll always be right, and I'll always make myself miserable. And I guess that's okay.

--Anya--

It's been better lately. I stopped to think about what I'm doing, and I realized that I've been doing good. I have not done any hard drugs for like a week or so, I haven't done anything too illegal, I haven't fucked a random guy I didn't care about. I feel like being with Brad has really made me a better person, and I make better decisions for ( Read more... )

work x10 ( Read more... )

pretending isn't fair anyway.

I just want to be able to look back on my life and say that I lived it well and I liked who I was and had a good time being who I am.

Is that so much to ask?

--Anna--

Well, I could let you define me. And I could let you make me and break me and be whatever you wanted me to be. But really, what would I gain from that? I'm trying really hard to learn to love myself after everything that's happened, and I'm trying to remember what it is to know you have self-worth. But if I let you in again, I know we'll be okay ( Read more... )

What can I do to make you love me? What have I been doing so wrong that I can never ever fucking be motherfucking good enough for you? Why am I never fucking good enough for any of the people I wanted to be good enough for.

Not even a question of being GOOD enough, just of being
E.N.O.U.GH...
I am never fucking enough for anyone. Not my parents not ( Read more... )

I miss Brad. He's out of town for like a bartender's convention or something. It's like so boring without him.

He makes me realize how shitty everyone is.

Honestly? No updates lately because I have nothing to say.

I feel alone and useless. And it blows balls.

Really haven't gone out all that much this weekend...didn't really want to. I'm confused about a lot of shit and I don't really know what I want from anything anymore. It feels like everyone and everything I was sure I had in my life is... gone. I don't know ( Read more... )