It took me nearly losing my life
to realize how much i take it for granted

Friday night I drank Way to much
to where i blacked out and vomited profusely
after a 2day hangover i thought everything was going to be fine
Til i woke up monday morning and could barely open my mouth
I looked in the mirror and i looked like a chipmunk

in complete pain i went to ( Read more... )

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had an axioty attack today
and didn't end up going to my doc. apt.

Typical

Ugh, seriously this needs to stop

I love it how i ask him a serious question
and the only response i get is
"what the fuck are you talking about"

Nothing has changed.

I'm over it.
I'm done
I have finally realized i deserve better.

I have a doctors apt. on thursday.
and i'm not gonna lie i'm pretty freaked out about it.

exasperated by the lack of honesty.

I give 100%
but only acquire 50%

Is it Really that hard to be honest?

so its been awhile since iv spilled my guts on here.
and thats kinnda weird cuz i should been letting it all out lately
but iv been keeping it all in for the last 2 months

The past 2 months i have been jobless, Simply becuz i needed time to myself
I was extreamly depressed when i had to leave my life, family, and heart in madison
I held it all in or ( Read more... )

Screaming out for help

She has always lived her life regret free
taking every mistake and learning from it
but when the mistakes repeat time and time again
regret becomes a feeling she can't escape

Morals are fading
and life is nothing but a joke
she notices the signs that state "wrong way"
but it only excites her as she continues down the road

She needs ( Read more... )

Can some one tell me why,
all guys are the same!?

seriously, i start letting someone in against my will
i really didn't want to but i'll admit i started being optimistic about the situation.
and look what fucking happened.
Once again
I was lied to
and betrayed

I GIVE UP.
My wall will not be coming down
any time soon.
simply because i was  right

no one is ( Read more... )

My Love
Not a day goes by that i dont think of you.
The distances is killing me
or making me stronger
i have yet to figure it out
We have grown so far apart
but My feelings have yet to change
I still love you with all my heart
Its a feeling i have never had w/ anyone else
but
you left me
and i couldn't wait any longer
it has been to long i must let go
This ( Read more... )

I made a trip to madison this weekend
for Tylers birthday.

My goal for the weekend was not to see
"him"
so i had it all planed out i was going to be there
when he wasnt

well it all back fired
5 mins after i walk thru the door
He walked in.

and i wanted to ball my eyes out.
Its soo hard to see him
I miss him so much
but when i'm not in madison
i dont think ( Read more... )

A lot has been going on
and i haven't had time to post here to vent
but i can't sleep so perfect time for LJ right?!

anyways

I moved I'm living in LG w/ my cuz Kayla
*yeah i know we fight alot but it has been going good so far*
I had to move cuz my dad was going to cut me off unless i moved home
*he wants me to deal w/ my mom so he doesn't have to*
( Read more... )