Made a fool of myself in front of the juilliard professor
Got denied a promotion
Lost my last student who I taught private music lessons to
Bombed a midterm

In fewer than 24 hours.

I feel like there was a time when my blogs were sarcastic and funny even if it was making fun of my own life.

I wish there was a way to stop hating myself so much.  I have no idea how to make it stop, I feel like I've already tried everything. 

 This is my third day of sobriety, it's also my half birthday ( Read more... )

 I can't find a partner to do my spanish project with and one of my residents told me that I let people walk all over me...and I feel so crushed over both things ( Read more... )

 Tragically, I'm going to be acutely aware of my fantastically shitty night... filled with, but not limited to, soliciting/begging residents to come to a program, dealing with their stupid ass comments, and bitchy remarks and facial expression... OR, most recently, eye-rolling ( Read more... )

 It feels like nothing has really changed with me for several months.  Different job, different scenery, but I don't really feel like that's actually changed anything.  I'm still in school, I still drink after I have a bad day, and I still get way too angry at little things ( Read more... )

 Being an RA is fucking crazy. CRAZY ( Read more... )

What's the worst mistake you've ever made in your life and how did you get past it ( Read more... )

I need to sell my beds, desk, and bookcase within the next six days and I have a craigslist ad going...but if I'm not able to get rid of all of it, I'm pretty much totally fucked because I'm going to have to throw it out somehow.  And none of that furniture will fit in my car.  Someone emailed yesterday saying that they would come buy my desk ( Read more... )

So I'm pretty much the shallowest dickwad I know.  Too embarrassing to post on the internet while sober, but that post might come in time after I start to reprove to myself that I actually have a functioning brain with morals and full control over my motor skills.  Not to mention common fucking sense ( Read more... )