The exterior of my shell is hardening by the minute. I feel sorry for whoever tries to crack me oneday. Until then I'm amused by the smiles as a result of my plastic, shiny fAkE eMiNeNeE

I just got off the phone from talking to Kevin. I haven't spoken with him in so long that throughout the conversation I felt myself feeling a heavy load of guilt. I realize the situation that I've put myself in by choosing to stay in Arizona for now. The problem is that a year ago I felt such a strong welcoming when I visited, that I didn't take ( Read more... )

Last week I began writting a peom for the scrapbook/journal I'm creating. The idea was to get down on paper how I was feeling at the time in the context of a poem. It was then I got the idea...why not have a never-ending poem? The idea is that whenever I feel compelled to add something to it, it could potentially change the direction of the poem ( Read more... )

This weekend will be a memerable one...I can feel it. Thanks to reunions, a fair, and good weed. I made 2 friends tonight. That's 2 more numbers in my phone and 2 more people to distract me from my emptiness. One of them horsebackrides. Perfect.

Tonight I viewed the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen in Prescott to date. Everyday has been flying by, leaving me wanting something special to look back on. I think the fall tends to ride hand in hand with big change. That thought's been coming more often lately, leaving me anxiuos for what's to come. I love being here right now. Life's ( Read more... )

Every day tends to be a test for me. Whether it be to make it to the next day or accoplish worlds, I'm pushed. Today I felt quite stuck knowing that not much can be done about my moving situation. I believe that the sooner I'm out of this nasty house the sooner I'll feel "ok". Last night while sitting on a building roof downtown inbetween sips ( Read more... )

Every exhale released right now is a cloud of smoke. Everyone around me is quitting while I'm a chimney. I don't believe I'll stop at any time soon. I was given an estimated life-span quiz by Chach and I should be biting the dust around my mid twenties if I remember correctly. Good thing I'm leaving for Seattle tommarrow with Chris, because if ( Read more... )

I don't like empty nights like these. I'm well aware that sleep's the obvious and needed priority when I rest my eyes, but I still feel that something else is in the need of being done. I have no idea why I'm restless, which is the part that I'm hating. I had a nice time today doing everything based on split-second impulses with Chris. I woke ( Read more... )

Change is good. I changed my hair. Dark. Sideways bangs. Different. Florida. This place is way out of my ordinary. I like having sunshine. Aside from my mom and brother constantly butting heads, I feel calm here. Downtown Orlando might just be that place I've been looking for. You know-the one where I'll go to school for a couple years, ( Read more... )

I'm learning more and more about the way poeple can decieve in every sort of way every day. Even when you think you know someone...they seem to posess rust under the paint. I wish I was home in my bed sleeping. Instead I won't even be in the city I live in until my friend drives back. Who knows. Party on. yay.