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(Untitled)
All of you shut the fuck up. -
(Untitled)
Look, I only took the shrooms because Vinnie asked me to and I'd do anything for that stupid kid and I didn't want my client getting himself fucked up with only Tweedle-dumb and Tweedle-dumber and Hobo-the-fuckface-clown and Pizza-Boy-the-Wonder-Midget to look after him. Bad things happen that way.
And yeah, I lied about being home but the sixty ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
See, City. This is why you drink bottled water. So that when the psychos who pass for the people in charge here put amphetamines in the local supply you aren't tempted to make nice with a rabid bear or your mother-in-law, whichever's more inclined to try and kill you at the time ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
My new best friend. Hope you tarted yourself up more than usual, because we are heading somewhere fancy and kosher. Bring your checkbook.
The rest of you, I'm going to need an assistant who isn't a complete fuck-up and can answer a goddamn phone 24/7. Those of you who think you might be able to last a week without getting fired can leave me your ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Alright, you got me.
Never thought I'd say this, but...
What I'd really like to do is go home and hammer the wife until she can't see straight, reiterate to my sweet baby girl the fact that she can't date until she's forty and menopausal, and bribe my son with transformers.
Barring that, I want somebody who can make a goddamn decent French roast. ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Okay ( Read more... ) -
[Voice]
This is the last time I go to the Valley when the fucking GPS is on the fritz. If I ever see the CEO of Magellen again I’m going to tie his cock in a knot so he can’t infect the world with his directionally-challenged sperm ( Read more... )