So i thought, it would be a good idea to just cut off all communication and not go anywhere he was.  that was actually working for the past week.  I made it through a weekend and got to go out with my friends.  I didnt loose anything socially and thats what would make this ten times as hard.

Then I get a phone call to come out last night.  and find ( Read more... )

you wanna know the best way to not want something you know you arent going to get?

DISTANCE.

mother fuckin miles and miles and miles of distance.

so why do we have the same best friends?  cause we both need him.  but i want my distance.  and my friends.  i want to be over this more, but i want the affection of my friends to help.

its impossible

so i am just kinda hanging around in my apartment waiting for my clothes to be done in the dryer.  i had a bit of a meltdown for no reason with my mom.  she went to get something to eat and i asked her to please pick me up some fries.  she came back and i went into the fridge to get some ketchup ( Read more... )

Sometimes, i think i hate my mother.

Sometimes, i hear her doing something or she says something and it just, i dont know.  Something boils inside of me and shes diving me absolutely insane.

Other times, i think i am really scared that shes leaving.  I wont see her face everyday or know exactly where she is at all times.  And then the real big ( Read more... )

i have these questions in my mind, but i feel very uncomfortable asking them.  i almost feel like i may be too young and inexperienced to ask such things.  as if i dont have a right to try and form an opinion just yet in my life.  but when have i ever felt or acted like that before?

of all the people ive met in my life, all the friends ive made (and ( Read more... )

i know that  a lot of this is going to sound ridiculous and i dont deny that it isnt, but bear with me.

the last time i drank was december 2nd.  i dont plan on drinking this weekend either because i dont really have the time to.  so ill probably drive some of my friends again like i did last weekend.

it did take a little adjusting.  remembering what ( Read more... )

i dont know why i stopped posting in here.  But id rather  type something here than on myspace or facebook where a lot of close friends could read it.  I'm trying to change a lot of things in regards to them.

i'm not the same person they met at the end of high school and ive spent 2006 blatantly trying not to be.  i rebeled against my good image ( Read more... )

see above ( Read more... )

i figured it had been a while since i posted anything.  not really quite sure what was the last thing i posted.  i do know that often when i get on and read whatever the last post i wrote is, it always feels kind weird.  i remember feeling whatever i was feeling, but then again its kinda like an out of body experience ( Read more... )

how do you tell someone that you miss them with all your heart without them realizing how much you really need them ( Read more... )