Where do I begin. I guess with a long, drawn out, absolutely necessary sigh. I just wanted to write something that no one would see but me. To get these thoughts out of my head. To escape this emptiness. A head full of thoughts and an empty heart. I want to say I can't help but feel this way, but I've been detached for a good two years now and it' ( Read more... )

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I wish I could make it clear to everyone just how difficult everyday life is for me. That it is a constant struggle every day to not jump out of my skin. I sit in class, legs tapping uncontrollably. It's unbearable. I can't sit still, the anxiety runs through me and out my legs in spastic jerks. Thought after thought running through my mind. Trying ( Read more... )

Momma caught me trying to do shots at 4:30 this morning. She asked why I was "drinking cranberry juice out of a shot glass". I told her it was because I like it better that way. Needless to say after she told me to go to bed and I had walked out of the kitchen she checked to make sure the Smirnoff was still in the freezer. Sneaky sneaky.

I think I'm developing a crush on Steve Martin. Kind of creepin' me out. My mission is to find a copy of the book Shopgirl and find out if it's as eerie as the movie. I'm intrigued.

I am concerned. Worried in that way that plagues me every night when I go to sleep, wracking my brain for things to panic over. I am concerned that the person I am is not good enough for all that I have. I am concerned that I am on a path of sheer sabotage, as I always am in relationships. They never end happily for me. I have never left anyone I ( Read more... )

I guess this is how it works out sometimes. I walked to class thinking, I deserve this, and laughed at myself. Because I do deserve this. You lie, you get caught. Why? Because it's wrong and you should get caught for it. Maybe I like getting caught ( Read more... )

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"I will not make the same mistakes that you did ( Read more... )

In freshman seminar this morning, they told us it was unsafe to write on livejournal, and she recommends to never do it. I have two words for you. EAT ME!