I have 9 hours of sad songs playing... Wait no, just added more. 9 hours 48 minutes and 36 seconds. Thats not even counting the radiohead albums I have. Isn't it sad that I have that damn much sad music? And the rest... the rest doesn't have lyrics, its all noise. I wish I had some Portishead ( Read more... )

I think I made someone hate me today... in a way... I hope I did. I don't want her coming back for me to get in her way again. Thats all I do, is cause her to be confused, I just get in her way, I get in everyone's way. I just cause her pain, regret, guilt... I just stand in her fucking way. I'm too much of a bother for anyone, and I don't ( Read more... )

God fucking damn it, I hate this, everything is just too god damn bothersome. I just wrote this huge entry here, and then got disconnected and forgot to copy and paste, so when I tried to send, it didn't go through FUCK! God damn it. Every little thing is just getting too me. Everything is just too damn much right now... just the tiniest thing and ( Read more... )

If I ignore everything long enough, eventually, it will cease to be. I used to be afraid, that one day, I would look in the mirror, and just not be there. Stupid fear I know, no matter what, no matter how much I say I don't want to be remembered, that I don't want to be cared about, that I just want to be alone, I don't mean it. Another fear was ( Read more... )

You always expect the next day, or at least right when you wake up to be better. Last nite I was in a great, mood, even before I got drunk. I don't know why I was, everything is and was shit last nite, but I did something for someone that to me made me feel like I was actually worth something, that I was important, and someone would notice for once ( Read more... )

Glycerine ( Read more... )

I lost a very dear friend today. Someone who should have, could have, and would have been so much more. I hate fear, I tried, at least, but I guess I can't fight someone's fear for them. Maybe I jsut can't help anyone at all. This entry is too long, I don't feel like writing. My heart hurts. Emotions shouldn't affect the body like they do. I feel

I made myself sick. God damn depression and worry. I want to vomit, or at least feel like I should any moment, but it doesn't seem to be happening. I've been crying off and on all nite, I shouldn't be this badly affected. I can't sleep either, can't jsut sleep it away and wake up in the morning feeling better. I hate this. I shouldn't be like this ( Read more... )

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 What I use in the battle for the mind, Hit it hard like your supposed, pulling a blows to the nose, like go-go elves and I'm ripping up souls. Here goes the sound of the record-boom ( Read more... )

I can't say I'm surprised, but I am hurt. I don't understand... I would have stayed by her side, like I already have done, if only we could have talked, if I could have just understood. If I could have just done anything. I think this is the last time, I don't want to get hurt by the same person again, this time I thought it was actually going to ( Read more... )