right now, typing up in a crazed matter a paper due tomorrow on early american lit. Naturally, it is on Dickinson's poem, and naturally, being in a state not very much different from yesterday's with the exception of colder feet and a hate for slush, i am writing about nests. Nests=place for upbringing young='spawning' (that's the Oxford English ( Read more... )

it's a little gross to come online and find livejournal in candied frosted hearts ( Read more... )

the last two days i've been getting news of someone or other commiting suicide, and both times my reaction was just short of a shrug and a "it happens." I don't know why...whereas people around me shake their heads and try to think of reasons, i just nod and don't think twice....and that disturbs me, that sort of emotional callousness was not ( Read more... )

christ i'm drunk and it's not even five in the afternoon, beer cookies and wine for breakfast, and petting a really fat cat in a professor's loft. i have a paper to take care of on poetic theory as well as a literary criticism final on thursday (open note) i think i'm compensating for the fact that i can't get drunk with my friends since i am ( Read more... )

last night i was drunk by seven pm (five bottles of wine drank within an hour by eight people, seems nt so bad) broke a bottle of red wine on lana's rug by eleven pm, finished outlining questions for a final i have to hand in by two today at six am, started rewriting by hand and fucking up the names of authors, now. i'm going to work, there's a ( Read more... )

Very slowly I am trying to reverse the tide of being fucked, and this limited to purely academic fuckage. Speedwriting about Foucault and tenements and discipline and prostitution and sex, then i will take breaks, i will write about the structure of dreamsongs, about ministrels and mafiosos and the petrarchan sonnet. And i will try not to think ( Read more... )

i've started to be scared of the dark, this was not something that i've ever had, never used to bother me, even in the pitch black beachside upstate, didn't have any problem wandering around in darkness. And suddenly, in this new house, i'm jumping into the bathroom flicking light switches and shoving the curtains convinced that if i see this ( Read more... )

it's been a while since i've taken off school to slowly die in bed, and let me tell you once the hideous pain passes things get pretty good when you wake up in a warm and dark room. the throwing up of the bile for forty or so minutes, not so great, i was almost standing there waiting for it to get black like i've read it to be in all those cancer ( Read more... )

I'm going to bed with my arms sore. From what? you may ask. From the ache of being tied to the opposing bed posts? No ( Read more... )

I've been writing for over four hours now, not essay writing, that would be much easier than this. It's getting ridiculous because I'm too farin my own head, which is pretty much what you do everytime you write something that's not a critical essay. I'm so fucking tired of people giving art/creative writing/drama majors shit. It's more difficult ( Read more... )