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Oops, so like nevermind. I'm totally working at Margarita's now. Mikey...did you get the job too?? Free fuckin' quesadillas, yo. I'm going to have THE worst shits imaginable. Then take you for a long drive in my car with the heat on ( Read more... )

Kahwayzee weekend. The wedding went down, hung out with my distant family; even the Irish ones with the weird eyes. My toast was fantastic, as usual. Of course, most people were drunk or up at the buffet at the time, so the pressure was off. In the down time, I drank miscellaneously. My step-mother didn't make out with anyone except my dad. The DJ ( Read more... )

Last night I drove to Dover to hang out with Kyle...and drop in unexpectedly on the guy I've been myspacing for awhile who works in a coffee shop in Portsmouth. Some say stalk, I say drop in unexpectedly. No, he told me to come by at some point. Kyle couldn't come though. Dick. So I walked in, scoped him out, pretty cute, whatever. I didn't want to ( Read more... )

There's a new movie coming out called "Snakes on a Plane" starring Samuel L. Jackson and Keenan Thompson. Ian showed me it on IMDB.com. "Snakes on a Plane." Seriously. It's about a terrorist who lets loose a crate of deadly snakes aboard an inflight 747. The worst part about 911 is all the follow-up airplane horror movies. What will they think of ( Read more... )

I had quite a time at Dyke City, USA this weekend. AKA Smith College, Northampton Mass. It wasn't that there were more lesbians than I could stand, as it was that everyone was like, seventeen. Then again, we are talking about the biggest partiers of the population. I bought 130 dollars worth of alcohol in one hour. Do you know how many years in ( Read more... )

I came home tonight a skunk on my porch, eating cat food. The porch door was open for my stepmother's old skittish traumatized cat. Maybe the skunk ate it. Anyway, the skunk scared the shit out of me. Startled, it stuck its butt out to spray stink fluid, so I came in the backdoor. Later, I threw a shoe at it. It eventually left ( Read more... )

So Becka is officially the same age as me now ( Read more... )

Thank you Justin/Lexi for the delicious Weathervane last night!! However, the dumbass that is me locked my cars in my key. I mean keys in my car. So I authorized Justin to break open my sunroof to retrieve them. A piece snapped off so I carefully laid the glass piece in the grooves around the hole for safekeeping. It stayed on tightly. ....HOWEVER ( Read more... )

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse..... My Life Sucks Part Deux ( Read more... )