Me: Do you want to come to my house and nail recycled sushi pancakes to Diana Ross' bathroom wall ( Read more... )

Two girls tried to pick up my friend at the pub last night. First time that's ever happened. We were sitting by ourselves on a couple of armchairs in a quiet corner of the Lincolnshire Arms lounge when a couple of scraggy creatures approached us and asked if we minded if they sat on the seats next to us. I assumed they were just improvising due ( Read more... )

Gotta love it when gambling addicts apply to me to self-exclude themselves from the casino, then reapply two weeks later (once the withdrawal symptoms set in, no doubt) to appeal their own self-exclusion. I had a man yesterday who owed $30 grand to the banks and spent an average of 8 hours a day in the mahogany room. He listed his occupation as " ( Read more... )

Here I sit in air-conditioned comfort in the leather-armed swivel chair of my third floor office. I peer out through the partly open silver venetians and gaze at the rows of shiny executive vehicles parked across the street. In the nearby gardens, businessmen sit eating prepacked lunches, young couples lie on the grass fondling each other tenderly ( Read more... )

It seems that almost every day I say it - "I can't believe I'm getting paid for this!" Everything you've heard about the Public Service is true - we make any excuse to avoid doing work. 90% of the time my job involves sitting on my arse and reading websites about beer. As if that wasn't cushy enough, almost every week there is some manner of ( Read more... )

I was going to write a big long angsty entry about all the crap that has happened to me in the past few months. “Three months in 2 minutes flat.” But I just had a couple of beers with dinner and suddenly I couldn’t give a shit. Which is just as well because I know perfectly well that no-one else does, either ( Read more... )

1. The Trip

2. The Cadbury Factory Tour

3. Bum Bottom Backside

4. Smorgy's

5. Salamanca Market

6. Silly Things

7. Hobart Nightlife

8. The Last Day

1. The Trip

I just spent a couple of days in Hobart courtesy of fellow ( Read more... )

My Mum's just had a perfume party or something here, so the whole house stinks. I had to spend all of the day in my room so that I didn't intrude. I spent the day writing out a justification for my position against homosexual marriage - it took me several hours. I went to great lengths to provide references and to be as reasonable as possible in ( Read more... )

I got a call at eight in the morning from one of my Dad's friends, asking if my Dad was there. He was supposed to be coming around at ten to give some books to my Dad. I told him that Dad was at work, but that I'd be here so it was no problem. I hung up the phone and then attempted to return to sleep, before I was rudely awaken by a thought. Did he ( Read more... )

On Saturday night at Brad's house, Brad's sister kept getting harassing phone calls on her mobile from someone calling himself "the man in the moon". Every 10 or so minutes the phone would ring, and at the other end would be a bloke with a put-on Indian accent, talking from a mobile with a really dodgy reception - which I suppose was understandable ( Read more... )