I quit. Not starving, though, no not that. I quit eating. I'm gonna see how long I can go before I just collapse. I've broken mentally. I am an empty shell and this shell is just a lie which I despise. I want it gone. I want the facade to come crashing down. I am more depressed than I have ever been before. I am alone, unloved, fat, a ( Read more... )

Okay so a study was done claiming that if you eat every 3 hours you keep your energy up and speed up your metabolism. So, I am thinking that if I eat something like an apple, yogurt, pretzels every 3 hours then I can lose those last few pounds that wont budge without putting myself into the hospital. Maybe I'll actually have the energy to get ( Read more... )

Fasting starts.... NOW! No food until Monday. Itsy bitsy me, I love my bones.

Well, I am down to 117 after eating and such. I am going to fast for a few days and see where that puts me... 112?!?! I hope. Lol 110 would be the best christmas gift ever. I need to work out tommarow. I am starting to be everything I have always wanted, a skinny tan little girl with long dark brown hair. Fist I should sleep though, hehe. ( Read more... )

Okay so my life is crazy right now but at least I am still loosing weight. I dont know how much I have lost but I know my waist is about an inch smaller. I love it I have long dark brown hair halfway down my back a tiny wait and fairly decent sized boobs and my legs are turning into sticks. So close to what I have always wanted to be!

OMG I want to purge so bad but there are people doing their hair in there right now. I am so mad. I have to see my fiance today and I am gonna have this nasty bloated belly.

My period still hasn't come I am starting to get increasingly nervous. I have weighed less than this and ate the same but never been this late. Everyone keeps saying it's no big deal you are only a week late but that never happens to me. I feel like shit and I don't have enough money to keep buying pregnancy tests so I don't want to use the other ( Read more... )

Well I haven't gotten my period in a week and now that I have taken a pragnancy test and am sure I am not gonna have a baby, the whole thing makes me kinda happy. I guess to mean it proves that I am doing well. The only problem is I don't have time to work out because of exams. Grr I hate these things. I should be studying but... I'll do that ( Read more... )

Okay so I had a burrito at taco bell then threw up. It was a little bit of a pain in the ass because even though I did it right after I ate half of it just wouldn't come up I kept dry heaving. So I drank water waited 10 minutes then tried agian that worked a little better. Tomarrow I am going to try and repeat last week because I know that if I ( Read more... )

Okay so yesterday was the first day I ate a meal without throwing up since Tuesday. At 3:00 I had a small piece of thin crust pizza, an orange, half a cookie and a glass of skim milk. My mom decided we would go out for lunch, at this amazing pasta place. Which sucks because I had only thrown up twice in four days. I was doing so well. I think I ( Read more... )