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I just finished watching Swordfish with Jesse. We laughed pretty hard at the stupid hollywood bullshit they put in that movie. Example: Hugh Jackman is in this scene where he's sitting in front of a computer that has about 8 monitors and he's furiously typing in random shit on the keyboard and on the screen there are all these little boxes ( Read more... )

I would give you the context, but it's alot funnier without it.

“The perineum is the area behind the scrotum to the anus. It’s soft tissue, and there’s internal penis there. You have as much penis inside your body inside your body as you do outside your body, so the first thing you’re doing is you’re sitting on this penis."

Um, well, that's it.

I'm currently eating pinapple pieces from a can and now Jesse walked into the room and is narrorating the things I am doing. He is now saying "check out how cool this game is" and proceding to show me a video game on his DS. Now he fucked with it for a minute and said "screw it, I'll show you later". Enough of that ( Read more... )

greddy sp2 high performance exhaust system: $500

carbon fiber hood: $400

3' nike swoosh sticker: $10

watching all of the greasy, stinking wetbacks simultaneously ejaculate as I drive past chicken plaza: fucking priceless

That's right. I put green neon lights under the dash inside my car. It took me three hours. Lots of sweat and custom wiring. I even cut my finger once and inhaled soldering fumes, accidentaly of course. Sweat, custom wiring, finger cuts, and soldering fumes. Sounds like a Beck song ( Read more... )

Alright, 6 'o clock in the fucking morning and time to post in my livejournal for the first time in like a month. I'm currently drinking a combination of Rockstar energy drink and Old Foghorn Barley Wine Style. Yep, you guessed it, I'm hanging out with Dave ( Read more... )

finally! you can all be blessed to read an entry from me, brandon, the man of the millennium! i must say the past few days have been quite hectic, but entertaining none the less. i have spent copious days laying out by the pool with one of my number-one companions, taylor. we love to soak up the rays and drink some ice cold brews by the pool at ( Read more... )

Well, now my favorite shirt is out of commission. I'll have to retire it from the regular rotation due to a gaping hole in the front created by a lightbulb burn. How did this happen you might ask? Because John is a freakin' moron. Beware of him and his new camera phone, they're a destructive combination ( Read more... )

Lately I've been feeling lethargic. I've shat away endless hours in front of my computer, either playing games or browsing the Ween forums, but these activites are becoming less and less fulfilling. I don't ever really feel like hanging out much anymore. Whenever I wake up in the morning and don't have to go to work I just end up looking at the ( Read more... )