Fic: "Just one of those stories...“ Part 5 of 5 It's just the way.. Jared/Jensen, R
Fic title: "Just one of those stories...“ Part 5 of 5, It's just the way I am
Author: the_milky_way
Genre: RPS AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Word Count: 3.213
Beta: All my Thanks go to joans23. *hugs* I appreciate all the suggestions and hints.
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything.
Notes: this was written for akintay 's birthday! ♥
It was also written for notjustroomates's November prompt and for the cuddling by the fire prompt on my schmoop_bingo card.
This can be read as a stand-alone. But it belongs to a series of stories.
Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3* Part 4
Summary: Jensen has a problem.
This is really not the way he’d pictured Christmas going. Sitting alone on a couch in front of a cold fireplace and in an empty house. There had been plans, well thought through plans even. Only, not so well thought through in the end. Apparently.
Jensen has a problem.
This is really not the way he’d pictured Christmas going. Sitting alone on a couch in front of a cold fireplace and in an empty house. There had been plans, well thought through plans even. Only, not so well thought through in the end. Apparently.
He isn’t really sure where the communication misfired and took a wrong turn but somewhere between Thanksgiving and today, things derailed without either of them noticing. Them, as in Jared and himself.
He wants to blame his family as well, his parents and his siblings but if he’s honest with himself, that would be the coward’s way out, and he’d like to think he has more integrity than that. He might be grumpy or bitchy most of the time, according to Jared anyway, but he knows when things are his own fault and that there is no one to blame but himself… and well maybe Jared as well in this case.
Jensen can’t believe that they are still so bad at communicating with each other. After months and several misunderstandings he would have thought they’d learned their lessons. Obviously not. While one of them had been thinking about plans the other had actually made plans. Plans that couldn’t have been more different from each other of they actually had tried..
So now Jared is in New York while Jensen is here. Here as in Dallas. And of course Jared talks to Jensen’s mother more than Jensen does and his family thought he’d go with Jared. Only, Jensen thought they’d be spending Christmas in Dallas together. So now his family is visiting his grandma with only two cars and Jensen is sitting at home alone because he left his car in Austin and grabbed a ride with Danneel. See, he’d thought that Jared would come up with his car and they’d drive back together after New Year’s.
He still doesn’t know how they could miss each other so completely. He only figured something was missing when he got a call from Jared asking him where he was and that the plane was leaving in twenty minutes. Jensen had been on the highway driving towards Dallas, the same highway he’d thought Jared was on as well, driving up from San Antonio.
The way Jared had hung up on him still hurts. It’s been half a day now. Jared’s cell phone is turned off and Jensen knows no one will be home at the Padalecki house. They all flew up to see Jeff, because Jeff couldn’t get the days off. Jensen knew all that because he usually does listen to Jared. He just doesn’t know how to reach Jared now because neither of them had bothered to give Jensen Jeff’s number or any other of the Padalecki’s numbers for that matter.
Maybe Jared really doesn’t want to talk to him right now anyway.
Jensen thinks he might have sounded a little harsh on the phone, asking Jared what the fuck he’d been thinking booking a flight for him. But he was surprised and confused and maybe even a little annoyed at their apparent inability to just fucking talk to each other.
Now Jensen doesn’t even have the chance to apologize. And it’s Christmas Eve.
It’s Christmas Eve. Tomorrow, Jensen will take the bus up to his grandma’s place, or actually just an hour out and his dad will pick him up then. But it means he’ll have to spend Christmas Eve alone. Considering the mood he’s in, he thinks that’s probably for the best.
****
Jensen is curled up on the couch; thick quilt covering his body and just the table lamps turned on. It’s cold for Texas and he wants to get the fire going but he’s too lazy to get up. He feels just fine wallowing in self-pity and tries not to stare at his cell phone too often.
The TV is on but he isn’t really watching, just lets the low sounds wash over him and drown out the thoughts running circles in his mind. Thoughts about how he wished he’d listened to Jared more, thoughts about guilt and ruining Jared’s Christmas just as much as his own.
There is chilli his mom made for him but even that’s too much for Jensen right now. It feels like he would be rewarding himself and he doesn’t deserve that. Because his momma’s chilli is awesome and he’d instantly feel better. He really doesn’t want to feel better. This is his fault and he doesn’t want to feel good without Jared there.
He’s about to sink further down under the quilt when the doorbell sounds. He doesn’t jump. Maybe he flinches a little but he doesn’t jump. He frowns, though, because no one but his family knows where he is. But then it could be someone wanting to see his mom or his dad or maybe even one of his siblings coming to check on him. He just doesn’t feel like getting up, so he doesn’t. Let whoever it is think no one is home.
Only, whoever it is, doesn’t feel like following Jensen’s wishes. The doorbell sounds again, and again and then there are knocks as well. Then a voice, calling out to him. And Jensen knows this voice, knows it by heart and would recognize it anywhere. He jumps up, gets tangled in the quilt, crashes down and curses out loud. That hurt.
But he’s on his feet just a second later and limping to the door as fast as he can.
“Come on, Jen. I know you’re there. Called your mom and I heard you cursing… Just, please, open the door?”
Jensen yanks the door open the second he reaches it. Surprises Jared so much that he has to duck the raised hand and the knock that would have followed if the door still had been there.
“Uh… sorry.” Jared looks frazzled, hair in disarray, cheeks flushed and eyes tired. He looks like he ran all the way to Jensen’s house and knowing Jared, if that had been possible, he probably would have. He looks gorgeous and Jensen’s breath hitches for a second.
“Okay, so my cell phone died after I called your mom and I didn’t have time to tell her to tell you. And I couldn’t find a pay phone at the airport which is crazy and no one wanted to give me their cell phone, which is wise I guess.” Jared rambles and is out of breath but doesn’t stop at all.
“But, you know, my family was already through security, so I just took a taxi home, got into the car and drove here. So yeah, uhm… Hi?”
“What? How? Jay?”
Eloquent as ever. Jensen flushes a little and ducks his head.
“So I drove here from the airport in San Antonio, ditched my family and all that because my boyfriend is an idiot. Will you let me in?” If Jensen expected annoyance, he’s not getting it. There is amusement audible in Jared’s voice and when Jensen looks up there is a small smile as well. It throws him but he manages to step out of the way and let Jared inside.
When he tries to follow though, his banged knee almost gives in and he curses again. It really, really hurts now and he really, really doesn’t want to think about what could be wrong with it.. Bad enough that he ruined everyone’s Christmas, he doesn’t want end up in the ER as well. That would suck even more. Not to mention actually prove that Jensen is a hazard to himself and others.
“Jen? You okay?”
And yes, Jensen notices the abundance of usage of his nickname and he’s not too far gone to wonder why that is.
“Fell off the couch when you yelled through the door. Kinda banged my knee and it hurts. A little.” A lot but he’s so not telling Jared that.
Jared’s at his side a second later, arm hooked under his and then they are both making their way back into the living room. Jensen is just savoring the body heat and Jared miraculously being this close. He gets dumped on the couch rather unceremoniously and frowns when Jared vanishes as soon as he’s sitting.
Jensen closes his eyes, head leaned back against the couch and tries not to think. Just a moment to refocus and then he’ll be able to handle the situation. Instead he yelps. The icepack on his knee mocks him with its bright pinkness. Great. Of course, Jared had to find one of Mack’s cheerleader accessories.
Jensen huffs and looks up at Jared standing over him with a slightly smug look on his face. Bastard. Maybe this is punishment after all. Jensen is still rather surprised that Jared hasn’t started yelling at him yet, well apart from the yelling through the door that is. Jensen frowns, wriggles his leg a bit and grimaces at the stab of pain.
“Stop being such a girl, Jensen. You have to cool it or it’ll swell up and I have to take you the hospital. I’d rather sit here and enjoy some time with you. So deal with it. It’s just an icepack.”
Jared flops down next to Jensen then, takes in the look of the room, the chocolate wrappers and empty Dr. Pepper cans on the floor. Okay, so maybe Jensen had fled a little into his comfort food for a while. No one said he couldn’t be pathetic in addition to wallowing in self-pity.
“Uh..well.. I can explain?”
Jared snorts, moves closer and then just wraps his arm around Jensen. Jensen missed the contact, missed Jared and he’s not sure what to say or what to do to make it up to Jared. His eyes automatically move to the decorated Christmas tree. His momma would never allow not having one even if they spent the holidays somewhere else. He sees the ornaments and the baubles he and his siblings made when they were little. The lights are on and it looks peaceful and like home.
It puts a little smile on his face and has him move into Jared’s embrace.
“Care to tell me why you thought I’d fly to New York without you?”
And that’s the question, isn’t it?
Jensen shrugs, searches for words that don’t sound too stupid or too much like he’s the biggest asshole on earth.
“I... don’t know? Seriously. I have no idea. I just… we were talking about Christmas and you said you’d spend it with me. I was talking about going home for it and then you said your parents wanted to go up to New York. I was just…,” Jensen sighs. He’s not sure what he wants to say now. Because yeah, he still has no idea how they misunderstood each other like that.
“I thought you’d be spending Christmas with me here then, ‘cause no one was home at your place anyway. But then I got the call and you hung up on me and then my momma was so surprised to see me… I have no idea… I just… maybe I suck at listening to what you tell me?”
Jared sits up then and Jensen thinks the worst. This is the moment Jared will start yelling at him. Why he thinks that he doesn’t know, because even during their worst times Jared has never yelled at him. Maybe Jensen is too hyped up on chocolate and self-pity. Not a good combination for him.
“Jensen. Hey, look at me.”
Jensen does. He loves looking at Jared and right then he needs the eye contact, needs the knowledge that Jared is there and not mad at him. What he sees makes him gasp because there is nothing but so much love in Jared’s eyes. So much love and trust that Jensen can’t help but lean forward and kiss Jared.
Gentle and slow. Nothing but reassurance and claiming back the feeling he loves so much. The feeling of being in the right place, at the right time, with the right person. Jared smiles against his lips, kisses him back and then just rests his forehead against Jensen’s.
“Jensen. I love you. Jensen. I love you. But sometimes I want to kill you. I guess I shouldn’t talk to you when you are reading patient files.” Jared smiles, knowingly and maybe a little self-depreciating as well.
“Huh?” So what? Jared makes him bad at using grand words.
“I told you I’d booked the flights for both of us. Told you that my momma wanted you there as well and that your momma was totally okay with it. That’s why they made other plans. I told you, but right now I’m not sure if you were awake back then. Man, maybe it was my rambling about New York and what we could do there over the holidays. I’m sorry, Jen. Should have made sure you knew.”
Jared actually looks guilty and Jensen just can’t take it.
“What? No, no. Jared, it’s not your fault. I should have listened. I should have asked what your plans where. Never did ‘cause I thought we were on the same page but I shouldn’t have assumed.. I’m sorry, Jay. Fucked up everyone’s Christmas now.”
There is silence for a while. Just them sitting there, Jared looking at him and Jensen trying not to feel too guilty and waiting for Jared’s next words.
“Okay. Okay, so we both fucked up here. But Jensen, you didn’t ruin everyone’s Christmas. I’m here with you. My momma loves that fact. They are with Jeff. Your family is where they want to be. Questions is, are you?”
For a second Jensen, again, doesn’t know what to say. The he looks at Jared, really looks at him and knows just what to say.
“Now? Yes, now I am exactly where I want to be. It’s a little sad that we are alone but..but if you want to, we could drive up to my grandma tomorrow. Was planning on taking the bus anyway.” He doesn’t say it in a rush but it’s close and he doesn’t feel all that embarrassed when he sees Jared’s grin.
“Would love to, Jensen. I just wanted to spend Christmas with you. I’m sorry it went a little astray there for a while.”
“Me, too.”
Jensen feels a little less pathetic now, still a bit guilty and maybe still a bit too much like a love sick teenager. Not that he cares much about that right now. Now all he wants is to crawl up Jared’s body, into his lap and take advantage of the fact that they have the whole house to themselves.
So he does. Moves slowly but deliberately and gives Jared a chance to object. The objection never comes. Jared pulls him closer by the hips instead, mindful of Jensen’s knee which hurts less now and can be bend carefully.
He lowers himself down onto Jared, kisses his way along the stumbled jaw, down his neck. Licks, sucks and takes everything he can get.
“Can’t believe you’re here. Love you. Love that you came to me. I’m sorry, Jared. Really am.” It’s whispered against Jared’s skin and followed by slow licks and soft kisses. Everything is slow but not teasing, just right and what they need.
“’Course I’m here. Nowhere else I’d want to be.” It’s followed with a long, deep kiss, taking Jensen’s breath away and making him moan into it.
Jared’s hands wander, never not sure of their destination. And when Jensen lies naked under Jared and watches in rapt fascination how the color of Jared’s eyes change with every thrust, every moan from Jensen, he still can’t believe Jared is really there. Is there for him.
Tree lights sparkle in lust blown eyes and it’s the most mesmerizing thing Jensen can imagine seeing.
****
Jensen feels warm, curled up under the quilt and drifting in and out of sleep. He feels good and doesn’t want to wake up but his stomach has other ideas. He’s hungry. When he moves to get up from the couch he realizes three things at once.
The first is that he’s naked but clean, knee wrapped in a bandage that isn’t too tight. The second thing is that the fire is lit and all evidence of his self-pity fest are gone. The third, and most distressing, is that Jared isn’t there. Jensen doesn’t worry too much thought because half of Jared’s clothes are still lying on the floor next to the couch.
He grabs his discarded boxers and is pleased to realize that they weren’t used to clean him up with. Then he grabs the heavy quilt, wraps it around himself and moves towards the kitchen. And of course, that’s where he finds Jared.
Jared in his boxers too, with one of Jensen’s momma’s aprons tied around his naked waist. It’s such a hilarious sight that Jensen snorts out loud and actually chokes a little. He can’t help it.
Jared’s grinning when he turns around, spoon in one hand and a lemon in the other. Jensen’s momma’s chili is bubbling on the stove and it smells heavenly. Jensen’s stomach thinks so as well and rumbles loudly.
“Just in time. Dinner’s ready. Never had chili in Christmas Eve. Man, this smells so very awesome. Just added some lemon, ‘cause my mom always says it gives an extra kick to it. Hope you don’t mind. It’s like a combination of our mom’s recipes. Well, not really, because this is your momma’s chili and I just added lemon, but the thought counts right?”
Jared is rambling and it’s so adorable that Jensen can’t help moving forward, this time mindful of the quilt wrapped around him and hugs Jared close.
“I love you.”
Jared hugs him back.
“Me, too. Dinner?”
Jensen nods, reluctantly lets go of Jared and takes the bowls. Holds them out for Jared to fill and then takes them back into the living room. They eat there, huddled close together, under the lights of the Christmas Tree and the fire. Jensen thinks this is perfect. He never thought this day could possibly end like this.
“Thanks for being here. For not ditching my stupid ass and flying off to New York.” He says it into a spoonful of chili, not really wanting to talk about it now but needing to say the words anyway.
“You’re welcome.”
And with that it’s settled.
“And… Thanks for the fire.”
“Dude, it was really cold in here. Why didn’t you light one?”
“Uhm, too wrapped up in my self-pitty? Too lazy?” Jensen shrugs. It still sounds just as pathetic now as it did a few hours before.
“That’s really pitiful, Jen. Be happy you have me to take care of you.” Jared answers against his temple, drops a few gentle kisses and Jensen knows he means it in the best possible way and not to mock him… much.
“I am. I really am, Jared.”
This is really not how Jensen had pictured Christmas going. Sitting there with Jared, cuddled together in front of the fire seemed pretty impossible considering how it started out.. He still can’t quite believe how lucky he is to have it, have Jared, but he’s sure as hell gonna take it..
The End
Author: the_milky_way
Genre: RPS AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Word Count: 3.213
Beta: All my Thanks go to joans23. *hugs* I appreciate all the suggestions and hints.
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything.
Notes: this was written for akintay 's birthday! ♥
It was also written for notjustroomates's November prompt and for the cuddling by the fire prompt on my schmoop_bingo card.
This can be read as a stand-alone. But it belongs to a series of stories.
Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3* Part 4
Summary: Jensen has a problem.
This is really not the way he’d pictured Christmas going. Sitting alone on a couch in front of a cold fireplace and in an empty house. There had been plans, well thought through plans even. Only, not so well thought through in the end. Apparently.
Jensen has a problem.
This is really not the way he’d pictured Christmas going. Sitting alone on a couch in front of a cold fireplace and in an empty house. There had been plans, well thought through plans even. Only, not so well thought through in the end. Apparently.
He isn’t really sure where the communication misfired and took a wrong turn but somewhere between Thanksgiving and today, things derailed without either of them noticing. Them, as in Jared and himself.
He wants to blame his family as well, his parents and his siblings but if he’s honest with himself, that would be the coward’s way out, and he’d like to think he has more integrity than that. He might be grumpy or bitchy most of the time, according to Jared anyway, but he knows when things are his own fault and that there is no one to blame but himself… and well maybe Jared as well in this case.
Jensen can’t believe that they are still so bad at communicating with each other. After months and several misunderstandings he would have thought they’d learned their lessons. Obviously not. While one of them had been thinking about plans the other had actually made plans. Plans that couldn’t have been more different from each other of they actually had tried..
So now Jared is in New York while Jensen is here. Here as in Dallas. And of course Jared talks to Jensen’s mother more than Jensen does and his family thought he’d go with Jared. Only, Jensen thought they’d be spending Christmas in Dallas together. So now his family is visiting his grandma with only two cars and Jensen is sitting at home alone because he left his car in Austin and grabbed a ride with Danneel. See, he’d thought that Jared would come up with his car and they’d drive back together after New Year’s.
He still doesn’t know how they could miss each other so completely. He only figured something was missing when he got a call from Jared asking him where he was and that the plane was leaving in twenty minutes. Jensen had been on the highway driving towards Dallas, the same highway he’d thought Jared was on as well, driving up from San Antonio.
The way Jared had hung up on him still hurts. It’s been half a day now. Jared’s cell phone is turned off and Jensen knows no one will be home at the Padalecki house. They all flew up to see Jeff, because Jeff couldn’t get the days off. Jensen knew all that because he usually does listen to Jared. He just doesn’t know how to reach Jared now because neither of them had bothered to give Jensen Jeff’s number or any other of the Padalecki’s numbers for that matter.
Maybe Jared really doesn’t want to talk to him right now anyway.
Jensen thinks he might have sounded a little harsh on the phone, asking Jared what the fuck he’d been thinking booking a flight for him. But he was surprised and confused and maybe even a little annoyed at their apparent inability to just fucking talk to each other.
Now Jensen doesn’t even have the chance to apologize. And it’s Christmas Eve.
It’s Christmas Eve. Tomorrow, Jensen will take the bus up to his grandma’s place, or actually just an hour out and his dad will pick him up then. But it means he’ll have to spend Christmas Eve alone. Considering the mood he’s in, he thinks that’s probably for the best.
****
Jensen is curled up on the couch; thick quilt covering his body and just the table lamps turned on. It’s cold for Texas and he wants to get the fire going but he’s too lazy to get up. He feels just fine wallowing in self-pity and tries not to stare at his cell phone too often.
The TV is on but he isn’t really watching, just lets the low sounds wash over him and drown out the thoughts running circles in his mind. Thoughts about how he wished he’d listened to Jared more, thoughts about guilt and ruining Jared’s Christmas just as much as his own.
There is chilli his mom made for him but even that’s too much for Jensen right now. It feels like he would be rewarding himself and he doesn’t deserve that. Because his momma’s chilli is awesome and he’d instantly feel better. He really doesn’t want to feel better. This is his fault and he doesn’t want to feel good without Jared there.
He’s about to sink further down under the quilt when the doorbell sounds. He doesn’t jump. Maybe he flinches a little but he doesn’t jump. He frowns, though, because no one but his family knows where he is. But then it could be someone wanting to see his mom or his dad or maybe even one of his siblings coming to check on him. He just doesn’t feel like getting up, so he doesn’t. Let whoever it is think no one is home.
Only, whoever it is, doesn’t feel like following Jensen’s wishes. The doorbell sounds again, and again and then there are knocks as well. Then a voice, calling out to him. And Jensen knows this voice, knows it by heart and would recognize it anywhere. He jumps up, gets tangled in the quilt, crashes down and curses out loud. That hurt.
But he’s on his feet just a second later and limping to the door as fast as he can.
“Come on, Jen. I know you’re there. Called your mom and I heard you cursing… Just, please, open the door?”
Jensen yanks the door open the second he reaches it. Surprises Jared so much that he has to duck the raised hand and the knock that would have followed if the door still had been there.
“Uh… sorry.” Jared looks frazzled, hair in disarray, cheeks flushed and eyes tired. He looks like he ran all the way to Jensen’s house and knowing Jared, if that had been possible, he probably would have. He looks gorgeous and Jensen’s breath hitches for a second.
“Okay, so my cell phone died after I called your mom and I didn’t have time to tell her to tell you. And I couldn’t find a pay phone at the airport which is crazy and no one wanted to give me their cell phone, which is wise I guess.” Jared rambles and is out of breath but doesn’t stop at all.
“But, you know, my family was already through security, so I just took a taxi home, got into the car and drove here. So yeah, uhm… Hi?”
“What? How? Jay?”
Eloquent as ever. Jensen flushes a little and ducks his head.
“So I drove here from the airport in San Antonio, ditched my family and all that because my boyfriend is an idiot. Will you let me in?” If Jensen expected annoyance, he’s not getting it. There is amusement audible in Jared’s voice and when Jensen looks up there is a small smile as well. It throws him but he manages to step out of the way and let Jared inside.
When he tries to follow though, his banged knee almost gives in and he curses again. It really, really hurts now and he really, really doesn’t want to think about what could be wrong with it.. Bad enough that he ruined everyone’s Christmas, he doesn’t want end up in the ER as well. That would suck even more. Not to mention actually prove that Jensen is a hazard to himself and others.
“Jen? You okay?”
And yes, Jensen notices the abundance of usage of his nickname and he’s not too far gone to wonder why that is.
“Fell off the couch when you yelled through the door. Kinda banged my knee and it hurts. A little.” A lot but he’s so not telling Jared that.
Jared’s at his side a second later, arm hooked under his and then they are both making their way back into the living room. Jensen is just savoring the body heat and Jared miraculously being this close. He gets dumped on the couch rather unceremoniously and frowns when Jared vanishes as soon as he’s sitting.
Jensen closes his eyes, head leaned back against the couch and tries not to think. Just a moment to refocus and then he’ll be able to handle the situation. Instead he yelps. The icepack on his knee mocks him with its bright pinkness. Great. Of course, Jared had to find one of Mack’s cheerleader accessories.
Jensen huffs and looks up at Jared standing over him with a slightly smug look on his face. Bastard. Maybe this is punishment after all. Jensen is still rather surprised that Jared hasn’t started yelling at him yet, well apart from the yelling through the door that is. Jensen frowns, wriggles his leg a bit and grimaces at the stab of pain.
“Stop being such a girl, Jensen. You have to cool it or it’ll swell up and I have to take you the hospital. I’d rather sit here and enjoy some time with you. So deal with it. It’s just an icepack.”
Jared flops down next to Jensen then, takes in the look of the room, the chocolate wrappers and empty Dr. Pepper cans on the floor. Okay, so maybe Jensen had fled a little into his comfort food for a while. No one said he couldn’t be pathetic in addition to wallowing in self-pity.
“Uh..well.. I can explain?”
Jared snorts, moves closer and then just wraps his arm around Jensen. Jensen missed the contact, missed Jared and he’s not sure what to say or what to do to make it up to Jared. His eyes automatically move to the decorated Christmas tree. His momma would never allow not having one even if they spent the holidays somewhere else. He sees the ornaments and the baubles he and his siblings made when they were little. The lights are on and it looks peaceful and like home.
It puts a little smile on his face and has him move into Jared’s embrace.
“Care to tell me why you thought I’d fly to New York without you?”
And that’s the question, isn’t it?
Jensen shrugs, searches for words that don’t sound too stupid or too much like he’s the biggest asshole on earth.
“I... don’t know? Seriously. I have no idea. I just… we were talking about Christmas and you said you’d spend it with me. I was talking about going home for it and then you said your parents wanted to go up to New York. I was just…,” Jensen sighs. He’s not sure what he wants to say now. Because yeah, he still has no idea how they misunderstood each other like that.
“I thought you’d be spending Christmas with me here then, ‘cause no one was home at your place anyway. But then I got the call and you hung up on me and then my momma was so surprised to see me… I have no idea… I just… maybe I suck at listening to what you tell me?”
Jared sits up then and Jensen thinks the worst. This is the moment Jared will start yelling at him. Why he thinks that he doesn’t know, because even during their worst times Jared has never yelled at him. Maybe Jensen is too hyped up on chocolate and self-pity. Not a good combination for him.
“Jensen. Hey, look at me.”
Jensen does. He loves looking at Jared and right then he needs the eye contact, needs the knowledge that Jared is there and not mad at him. What he sees makes him gasp because there is nothing but so much love in Jared’s eyes. So much love and trust that Jensen can’t help but lean forward and kiss Jared.
Gentle and slow. Nothing but reassurance and claiming back the feeling he loves so much. The feeling of being in the right place, at the right time, with the right person. Jared smiles against his lips, kisses him back and then just rests his forehead against Jensen’s.
“Jensen. I love you. Jensen. I love you. But sometimes I want to kill you. I guess I shouldn’t talk to you when you are reading patient files.” Jared smiles, knowingly and maybe a little self-depreciating as well.
“Huh?” So what? Jared makes him bad at using grand words.
“I told you I’d booked the flights for both of us. Told you that my momma wanted you there as well and that your momma was totally okay with it. That’s why they made other plans. I told you, but right now I’m not sure if you were awake back then. Man, maybe it was my rambling about New York and what we could do there over the holidays. I’m sorry, Jen. Should have made sure you knew.”
Jared actually looks guilty and Jensen just can’t take it.
“What? No, no. Jared, it’s not your fault. I should have listened. I should have asked what your plans where. Never did ‘cause I thought we were on the same page but I shouldn’t have assumed.. I’m sorry, Jay. Fucked up everyone’s Christmas now.”
There is silence for a while. Just them sitting there, Jared looking at him and Jensen trying not to feel too guilty and waiting for Jared’s next words.
“Okay. Okay, so we both fucked up here. But Jensen, you didn’t ruin everyone’s Christmas. I’m here with you. My momma loves that fact. They are with Jeff. Your family is where they want to be. Questions is, are you?”
For a second Jensen, again, doesn’t know what to say. The he looks at Jared, really looks at him and knows just what to say.
“Now? Yes, now I am exactly where I want to be. It’s a little sad that we are alone but..but if you want to, we could drive up to my grandma tomorrow. Was planning on taking the bus anyway.” He doesn’t say it in a rush but it’s close and he doesn’t feel all that embarrassed when he sees Jared’s grin.
“Would love to, Jensen. I just wanted to spend Christmas with you. I’m sorry it went a little astray there for a while.”
“Me, too.”
Jensen feels a little less pathetic now, still a bit guilty and maybe still a bit too much like a love sick teenager. Not that he cares much about that right now. Now all he wants is to crawl up Jared’s body, into his lap and take advantage of the fact that they have the whole house to themselves.
So he does. Moves slowly but deliberately and gives Jared a chance to object. The objection never comes. Jared pulls him closer by the hips instead, mindful of Jensen’s knee which hurts less now and can be bend carefully.
He lowers himself down onto Jared, kisses his way along the stumbled jaw, down his neck. Licks, sucks and takes everything he can get.
“Can’t believe you’re here. Love you. Love that you came to me. I’m sorry, Jared. Really am.” It’s whispered against Jared’s skin and followed by slow licks and soft kisses. Everything is slow but not teasing, just right and what they need.
“’Course I’m here. Nowhere else I’d want to be.” It’s followed with a long, deep kiss, taking Jensen’s breath away and making him moan into it.
Jared’s hands wander, never not sure of their destination. And when Jensen lies naked under Jared and watches in rapt fascination how the color of Jared’s eyes change with every thrust, every moan from Jensen, he still can’t believe Jared is really there. Is there for him.
Tree lights sparkle in lust blown eyes and it’s the most mesmerizing thing Jensen can imagine seeing.
****
Jensen feels warm, curled up under the quilt and drifting in and out of sleep. He feels good and doesn’t want to wake up but his stomach has other ideas. He’s hungry. When he moves to get up from the couch he realizes three things at once.
The first is that he’s naked but clean, knee wrapped in a bandage that isn’t too tight. The second thing is that the fire is lit and all evidence of his self-pity fest are gone. The third, and most distressing, is that Jared isn’t there. Jensen doesn’t worry too much thought because half of Jared’s clothes are still lying on the floor next to the couch.
He grabs his discarded boxers and is pleased to realize that they weren’t used to clean him up with. Then he grabs the heavy quilt, wraps it around himself and moves towards the kitchen. And of course, that’s where he finds Jared.
Jared in his boxers too, with one of Jensen’s momma’s aprons tied around his naked waist. It’s such a hilarious sight that Jensen snorts out loud and actually chokes a little. He can’t help it.
Jared’s grinning when he turns around, spoon in one hand and a lemon in the other. Jensen’s momma’s chili is bubbling on the stove and it smells heavenly. Jensen’s stomach thinks so as well and rumbles loudly.
“Just in time. Dinner’s ready. Never had chili in Christmas Eve. Man, this smells so very awesome. Just added some lemon, ‘cause my mom always says it gives an extra kick to it. Hope you don’t mind. It’s like a combination of our mom’s recipes. Well, not really, because this is your momma’s chili and I just added lemon, but the thought counts right?”
Jared is rambling and it’s so adorable that Jensen can’t help moving forward, this time mindful of the quilt wrapped around him and hugs Jared close.
“I love you.”
Jared hugs him back.
“Me, too. Dinner?”
Jensen nods, reluctantly lets go of Jared and takes the bowls. Holds them out for Jared to fill and then takes them back into the living room. They eat there, huddled close together, under the lights of the Christmas Tree and the fire. Jensen thinks this is perfect. He never thought this day could possibly end like this.
“Thanks for being here. For not ditching my stupid ass and flying off to New York.” He says it into a spoonful of chili, not really wanting to talk about it now but needing to say the words anyway.
“You’re welcome.”
And with that it’s settled.
“And… Thanks for the fire.”
“Dude, it was really cold in here. Why didn’t you light one?”
“Uhm, too wrapped up in my self-pitty? Too lazy?” Jensen shrugs. It still sounds just as pathetic now as it did a few hours before.
“That’s really pitiful, Jen. Be happy you have me to take care of you.” Jared answers against his temple, drops a few gentle kisses and Jensen knows he means it in the best possible way and not to mock him… much.
“I am. I really am, Jared.”
This is really not how Jensen had pictured Christmas going. Sitting there with Jared, cuddled together in front of the fire seemed pretty impossible considering how it started out.. He still can’t quite believe how lucky he is to have it, have Jared, but he’s sure as hell gonna take it..
The End