I'm lost. I have no fucking clue what is going on or how I can do anything about it. My friend is hurting and I can't help her. I just sit there and try to think of something to do but I just can't fucking think. I want to rail and scream at something or someone, but I can't do it to her because she can't take it and it wouldn't be directed in ( Read more... )

Why this empty feeling? Why is it that I only seem to be able to feel about...fiction. About something that isn't real. About things that truly don't matter. Is it just that I'm doing it wrong? No, thats not it. I know I'm not doing it wrong. Hell, it seems I'm just not doing it at all. So goddamn cold. And even when writing this...its ( Read more... )

-I want *purpose*. I need something to strive for. I crave a goal; something to which I can devote myself to utterly ( Read more... )

You know what? I lied. I'm not done typing. I've decided to change some things. If you all have gone back and read your way through my little notebook, you'll remember that my first rant was about this. I'm changing some things that I don't like ( Read more... )

It has been quite a while since I have last posted. Since that time many things have changed; some for the better, others for the worse. And with all that has happened I still find myself at a loss for things to talk about. I've talked about love (or lack there of), friends, and lots of other topics that may or may not be relevant. What's worse ( Read more... )

I miss the way you look at me ( Read more... )

I will preface this little rant with this: I know that I will sound somewhat egotistical and self-centered in parts, but really...its all true (unless you can prove me wrong) so I'm going to say it anyway ( Read more... )

Why does it have to be feast or famine? Can't it just be one at a time (or only one forever if we're being hopeful)? It always seems to work out this way, though. For those of you just tuning in (which is basically most people...), I have the...dubious pleasure of being very much attracted to two women, both of whom I think, probably, maybe, ( Read more... )

I know its been on Jackie's comment list for a long time now but I just now saw it and wanted it to have its own post. And since I don't post all that often (and so every post is a jewel of its own) I feel I will do the honors ( Read more... )

It is difficult for me to write this, as I really don’t understand it fully myself. And for me to get it out of my system, I am trying some steps that, hopefully, will jog something into working ( Read more... )