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2020 Christmassy feeling
I've been remembering Christmas 2020, and how the season of it made me feel close to the magic that Christmas used to have for me when I was younger. Somehow. I don't think that feeling can ever come back the same, because back then, a lot of it had to do with the magic around Christmas, the literal belief in flying reindeer and everything in the ( Read more... ) -
Relationship Check-in with Myself (5m)
So how is it going, going on five months--
Is that a long time? It feels like a long time. How long are high school relationships, on average.
Uh, I--
Are we doing better than the sixteen-year-olds is my concern.
I think it's an okay amount of time. How are you, five months in love.
It's going good, I still feel that kneejerk "am I in love, actually ( Read more... ) -
Rein's, December 13th
I went to Rein's with Paige. Christmassy Rein's after work. I was sleepy but I wanted to go. She brought her blanket and I wrapped up in the passenger seat. She has her own history at Rein's, placemats saved with crayon on them. How strange. We both were kids in the same place at different times. How unsurprising. Like of course.
We talked on the ( Read more... ) -
Let's go to the epicenter of the coronavirus pandemic just for fun
I was missing Lisa hard on Thursday night instead of going to bed and just then, when it was too late for customary phone calls, grandma called.
I flipped on Friday and said "do you wanna go to New York next Tuesday Paige" and she said yes and we left at 8:30AM. An embarrassing amount of CVS snacks in the wheel well. The Dunkin Donuts in the gas ( Read more... ) -
sunflowers
the days without customers pass by quicker than the hectic crazy days. as could probably be evidenced by how unprepared I am at closing time on Mondays. Today was a good day. Paige is spending the rest of the week house/cat sitting for her mom in Melrose. I asked where that is, and unluckily it's not on my mom's route, which would have been Mister ( Read more... ) -
a quarantine in snapshots
-Some time early in unemployment I spent a night in the hall outside my room. I brushed the carpet and shook out the rug, I swept the windowsill and wiped clean the warped glass. I picked apart the chips of peeling paint and rearranged my little chair, my books, my boots, and my painting out there. I washed & plopped my big pink heart pillow onto ( Read more... ) -
talk about beastie boys a minute
I keep feeling like I have to make a playlist of songs that are by the beastie boys that you can't tell are by the beastie boys because there are SO MANY! I keep thinking, if i put this one on in the car my sister wouldn't even get suspicious.
It's weird laying disconnected images together. I say Beastie Boys, people maybe think Fight For Your ( Read more... ) -
more on that dream
I told Paige about that dream I'd had about Yauch. I told her sitting in the passenger seat of her car on that hot, hot June 9th, the sun pouring over everything like it was all it knew how to do.
Paige 'mmmm'ed and sighed at all the good parts, at my description of the glittering morning, at the peace in sitting facing Yauch. She nodded when I ( Read more... ) -
a dream i had 2 nights ago
In the furthest reach of a mall parking lot, the asphalt had found itself a pocket of quiet. It ducked a behind a wild grove of pine trees and greenery, and spread in a wide square in this forgotten corner, to a mirroring border of trees on the opposite edge, and along the perpendicular side, the lot ended in a curb.
What I'm saying is there ( Read more... ) -
5am
I thought I'd scroll back through my archive to see what I was doing around now in years past, but most of my entries kind of bummed me out. Nothing seems as good as now.
There are birds singing in an empty-room kind of way because it's 5am exactly, and the sky is a dank blue like muddled tubwater. I fell asleep a little after 6pm yesterday, after ( Read more... )