Ok, ok, so I'm 25 years old now. I've known you for quite sometime livejournal...longer than most of my friends. Longer than the man, or fuck it...the men, I've almost married. Oh you've heard about most of the big things...despite my being caught up in "the life" I always come back when I'm sad and no one wants to hear about the intimate ( Read more... )

Dear journal. Life is a bit much to handle. I always think I'm going to crack under the pressure, but no...never. I mean, I crack, but I fucking get up and go at it again. I am dropping the opiates. I know I've said to before, but I need to recover. I cannot let it eat my life like this. The physical pain has really sucked. The boredom is ( Read more... )

I'm at the library at school, freezing...trying to kill time. Life is going alright, despite the insanity. Insanity has always been my comfort zone anyway. A drunk driver smashed into my Monte Carlo totalling it out. Everyones ok, but now I don't have a car. I'm driving this just aweful little truck my dad let me borrow. I'm not happy about ( Read more... )

So, I've been confusing myself once again. Asking those dangerous questions, allowing dangerous elements to be reintroduced...llowing myself to fail instead of being strong enough to do what I know needs to be done. I'm such a strange and self-depreciating creature ( Read more... )

forbidden fruit
always the most delicious
knowing this
she feels hunger like never before
with a mouth of a sand
and a belly full of black smoke
she longs for something with taste
with texture
like the feel of skin
and sweat on your tongue
senses full and fluctuating
she is a blushing virgin once again
but this time only to be left whole
and

So, basically, I'm going to have to break this down on a real level. I may have done something not entirely morally correct, while not entirely morally incorrect...I stayed at Sean's last night...and did not have sex with him (I feel like I deserve some sort of praise for that!) but I did sleep in his bed with him and cuddle through out the night ( Read more... )

Ok, ok, so I'm bored. Not the kind of bored that going to dinner or out dancing can fix. The kin dof boredom that can only be fixed by drug addiction or reaking havok on my life as well as every life involved. I have to admit, I kind of see it now. I see what happens, why I go nuts. It's the boredom. Now that I have relationships with good ( Read more... )

So, me and Joey are doing great! He just may actually love me like I love him. The way I love him is insane like wild horses running through the valley or like the fire flying out of volcanoes ready to encompass every and all living things in its path...lol my love sounds evil...but it's not. It's just strong and passionate. He's told me he ( Read more... )

So, I wonder what karma's shelf life is? I was a pretty bad girl for a good while, but I've changed all that. I mean in reference to men, and really, I think even the things that I've done, or allowed, that were supposedly bad...that's all relative. I admit I may have broken, or allowed them to break theirown, hearts...but I can't be responsable ( Read more... )

I love that I feel safe enough livejournal to post dorky stuff like this. Yay for most of the people we know abandoning their livejournals years ago! The few left, that I know of, are cool people...unlike myspace where people I don't even remember exsist can your stuff and make judgements ( Read more... )