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What can I do
It's been six long years. Fist fights, him having feelings for my BEST FRIEND while she encourages me to look up my ex, the horrible things he has said, the horrible nights when he was away and wouldn't answer or cal back. I left when things got out of hand, but always accepted his apologies and promises of change:
Our financial life has most ( Read more... ) -
Hours and hours
I'm only here if I'm in pain...
So, it should come as no surprise that I have wandered far back into the darkness I ran from. All the statistical consequences apply. Everything is gone or broken or slipping away. I have always wondered what it was that brought people from the point of sorrow to the point of suicide. Here's how. Our brains are all ( Read more... ) -
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The tears are back and I know they're gonna stay a while. I can't function when I'm like this. Every breath I take is a chore. How long?
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I realized I'd NEVER want to be who I was when you loved me. I like being understanding... Neat.. Compassionate... Having depth...
I used to be so angry. I'm just not that anymore. I wish I were as pretty or as free, but I'd never trade me. I was supposed to grow. Make peace with myself. Not a boy.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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I'm feeling a bit lost.... I just can't deal with everything and I gave up my support system willingly. I'm alone and it feels scary.... Too bad I deserve it.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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There are just no words. I can't imagine myself getting over all this. It's always bck and forth... Tit for tat. Over it. I wish there were a FF button for these days :/
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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So I feel like I should document the weekend I just had. Friday I went to sound check at 111am. By 1145 I said fuck it, they can kiss my ass I'll sound check tonight. Mitch FINALLY wakes up at like 5 and is texting me freaking out that Cheyney is nervous about the system and yadda yadda. I've ran this system alllllllllll by myself for ten years. I ( Read more... ) -
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It took exactly two weeks to look around and realize EVERYTHING in my life has changed. I have been more than rewarded for the shit I went through. It's nothing.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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Today is a bad day in the large scheme of things. I just couldnt bring myself to do the things I desperately needed to. I just want to punch my mom. She's so delusional it's unreal. She disappeared and became an extension of my Dad a loooong time ago, and that's what made me hell on heels when I was young. I didn't wanna be like her. I was ( Read more... )