Wow!!!!!!

I've remembered my log in and password.

It's been a long time.

That's all I wanna say for now.

I hate how things are at the moment. I've taken a job, not so much because I want it but because I think I ought to, but I cannot explain that to anyone. I cannot get myself a shitty little part time thing, so i've had to go for this... which means relocating, giving up my counselling, having a great big gap (possibly) from my driving when I am ( Read more... )

Well, looks like I have found myself a 'cozy' second floor flat with rent that should be in my price range, and an estimate on moving of sometime early next week provided the paperwork can be done promptly. Feels incredibly strange. The flat is small, the stair case is scary, but Dan assures me he can get my stuff in and me set up. I should be ( Read more... )

Ok, been a very difficult week for me. Have been offered a job that I applied for as an experiment to see how strong my cv is and stuff. This is all a year early. anyways, in the end I decided to accept........ am not sure if I am ready, but then, I do not know if I will ever feel ready. So i'm gonna be moving into my own place for the first ( Read more... )

Had an interview last Thursday, was offered the job Friday, still trying to decide so I am off to meet the team today. Dan's driving me there, and Dad will pick me up, cos I still haven't got a licence. I will need to relocate for the job. Very hard decisions. All I wanna do is curl up with Dan. Saw him Friday and Sunday, but that's all at the ( Read more... )

Dan, Rach and my mum have all mentioned how they are thinking about committing suicide at the moment. My mum doesn't cos of me, and I feel awful... she also doesn't leave cos of me, and I think that she should be entitled to make her own decisions, not have to be a mum all the time. Not that I want her to commit suicide, I really don't... but ( Read more... )

I feel really crabby. 1) cos Dan said that he would probably be round today and would call me if he wouldn't - then isn't round and hasn't called, and 2) when I tried to call him he hung up. Well....... as luck, fate or whatever happens, he rings as I'm typing this... apparently my text wasn't appreciated and he's angry with me. I guess that's ( Read more... )

I must not ring Dan this evening, cos I said I wouldn't and I would like to sometimes be able to keep to that. However, I really wonder how his session went. He definitely wanted to get to this session before he made some decisions, and I wonder if he has made any. Wish I could talk to him, but that would be for my benefit rather than his, so I ( Read more... )

I am not good with anger. Not so much as some people, but I hate feeling it. I especially hate feeling it at people I do not know. I HATE a few individuals, probably not many more than anyone else my age but even so, MOST are people I actually have interacted with ( Read more... )

Well, I made it through the day. I had tried not to get too excited when camping was suggested the other day, but when he rang Saturday morning far earlier than he ever rings and said he'd be over in a couple of hours I ran around, got myself ready and we headed off. It wasn't his fault that the car blew up (that's two cars in a week for him) and ( Read more... )