If I were to cut myself, would that mean I have undone all that I have achieved in the last 10mths, or, would it mean that I haven't actually achieved anything???

I'm so feckin angry. Why is it whenever I want attention I have to fight for it. Whenever I wanna talk I have to fight for it, and then I just get back 'I don't know' sorta answers, from everyone.

Jealousy is such an ugly trait, but then, i've never been much of a looker...

Am sat here on my computer and I feel like no-body gives a toss about me... I mean, how sad is that. Am going out of my mind here. People are either not talking to me or disappearing on me and I wanna scream and cut, but I can't can I..... I dunno maybe I can, but I just wish that people would remember that I am here, and that this is all really ( Read more... )

I hate to feel pain, to hurt, to see blood, yet
All I can think, is how I want to cut
Score a big line right across my arm
Just this once would it do any harm?

Am feeling terribly paranoid as of late. Not sure if that is cos of last weekend or what. There is one thing I do know...... I will not be able to cope if he did commit suicide, I cannot allow myself to be in that situation. Am not sure what that means, cos I know that he is a seriously unhappy bloke, that has thought about it. I wish I was ( Read more... )

I'm struggling with myself. I wanna be cool about him helping out a friend, but I can't help but get jealous and scared. I've tried to do the right thing, and to be fair he has tried to reassure me, but I know that I am not gonna get much sleep tonight, and am gonna be a bit scared of what he will say next time I speak to him, or how I will act ( Read more... )

I still *hate* the time around my birthday. My self esteem plummets and it's never high. But today..... man today went very low indeed. I loathe myself. The network is breaking down, and I am fighting it........... but I think it is inevitable. Why did it have to change? I mean, I have been ultra helpful this week....... I helped him choose a ( Read more... )

I feel numb and empty and upset......... and my knife glistens in the sun. Should I......... could I......... but more importantly, why shouldn't I. I have no reason not to. Not now.

I have a worrying reoccuring thought. If, a group of people can provide each other with a support network, a reason to go on.......... something that preents a horrid outcome. What happens if and when that group starts to misfunction. If someone close to me does something drastic...... what will I do. Before I had been reasonably reassured that ( Read more... )