i've been tryng to write, but feel empty, again...as always. sigh. such a pity case. Midterms finished this morning. marks that i've gotten back have been less than fabulous, but i'm not sure what more i can do. i've done nothing but study for weeks, and consequently, am weeks behind on class readings. i could catch up now, but now is the ( Read more... )

this is not a pity trip
please dont reassure me
how did i get the idea that i'm worth something
when did i start to believe it could happen
and why??
i may be the most useless person i have ever come across,
and i have to live with myself.
fuck.
i hate tonight and i hate this place
i hate myself
and i hate everything about you.
fuck this.

what is it about live music that has the ability to make you feel so alive?
just returned from seeing the red hot chili peppers..
it was gorgeous. and he was gorgeous, and.. i can't even describe to you how great it was. goosebumps for two hours. Live music..can't think of anything better. what a wonderful night.

i wish i had something interesting to tell you about my days and weeks, months, even. but it's all typical typical typical ( Read more... )

and when you look at me, i wonder what you see. youe eyes get this look..this intense stare, that i can't imagine has anything to do with what you're seeing, but i cn't help but feel like it might, and it scares me enough to pretend i never saw it to begin with. you reach for me and i flinch, because i wish for you to touch me so much that when it ( Read more... )

the sky is gray
and it matches my eyes
and you used to love my eyes
but let's not talk
about that
about you
lets talk about me
and how i'm
so
completely
over
it
and moving on
you never even
cross my mind
anymore
much less plague my every thought
like
you
used
to
i'm beginning to see
why you like this
lying game

someone please tell me that make-believe is for children...
i have to stop this.

nosaj says ( Read more... )

and they tell you ignorance is bliss, and you never know just how true it is, until you knowthings are bad..and everything's just creeping up on me, or maybe i just think they are because i've turned into this oh-so-predictable teenage drama-queen of sorts, and all i want to do is write poetry on the walls in black felt marker and light my candles ( Read more... )

i keep coming to update...and then going blank. completely. i can't think of anything but school and class and exams..and food and exercise and obsessing. what a waste of a brain ( Read more... )