ControlHe likes to think he's in control. It's the idea that keeps him quiet - well, quiet is a relative term; quiet, only in the sense of few protests and rare demonstrations. He doesn't recall the last time he was truly in control. Paul's always made the rules; Shirley's enforced them, to the letter. Then Carl was brought in, like a hired gun ( Read more... )

Intrigue

Denny Crane: The Man, The Legend, The IntrigueIt’s a working title for my autobiography that I’m making the interns write. It’s part of new employee orientation - initiation, really, but don’t tell the kids! I’ve decided that I should start documenting the important points of my life - it’s for education, they need a textbook in order to ( Read more... )

Talk about something you lost.I don’t know when I lost her. She’s the one. I know that much. I love Shirley. Ignore the fact that I’ve been married plenty of times after her - in fact, I’ve never been married to her, and maybe that says something, maybe I marry the ones that aren’t the one. But, I’d marry her, in a heartbeat, if she’d let me - hell ( Read more... )

Hmph. This is an example of why I shouldn't spend the afternoon watching Law & Order re-runs in my office.

Denny Crane's balls. Undefeated. Even by mace.

And mr_colbert, don't make me wrestle you for Shirley. Just ask Alan.

Denny Crane.

In response to the overwhelming load of questions regarding whether or not I plan to run for the Republican nomination in 08...

( I bring you this. )

You've woken up as the opposite sex this morning... now what?It started as a dream, perhaps. The last thing you clearly recall was that glass of red wine you had before bed. You don’t often drink wine - at least, not with company. Wine is one of those things that remains tucked away in the dusty corners of the pantry, until certain lines of ( Read more... )

Is there anyone in your life who you feel is exceptionally wise? Who & how did you meet this person?

According to a quiz at Fandango.com (and, I do enjoy those paper-bag puppets; I want one, of myself), I should be Luke Skywalker for Halloween. Denny Crane. Luke Skywalker. It's got a ring to it. Is a good ring? Hell if I know. Ask Alan. I like ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

"The true magic of this broken world lay in the ability of the things it contained to vanish, to become so thoroughly lost, that they might never have existed in the first place."The beauty of mental impairment - the supposed case of Mad Cow disease - was his ability to become so thoroughly lost in his own mind. He often drifted while seated ( Read more... )

You've temporarily turned into a child -- what do you do?

Denny Crane always knew this day would come. He finds himself saying that a lot lately, which nearly everyone chalks up to a symptom of old age. But, he knows things. He won't go as far as to call himself a psychic, because they're all fakes and phonies, funded by the democratic party. But ( Read more... )