last night was confusing and i don't know what to do anymore....do other people believe the in order to love someone you also have to hate them??? what are you thoughts on love???

so i am pretty fucked right now...i owe my school a lot of money...i don't have a place to live...and i have like $600. not good. not good at all. i have to give my school the money they want tomorrow...my head hurts. i am at the library right now waiting for my friend paala to call me so we can go to the museum...i have been wanting to go for ( Read more... )

A - Accent: I didn't think I had one until I moved to California and was made fun of for saying 'button' and 'curtain' differently ( Read more... )

is all I have to say.

so yes...oakland..that is where i am...i feel unsafe walking around oakland....i want to live in san fran still...i feel better there....anyhow....i dont know how to work my friend's tv or cable...i think that is a good thing...but sucks cause i wanna zone right now, but they are sleeping and can not help me out. damn.

yeaaah...so basically on christmas eve ben called me up and asked me to go to the ocean with him....we didnt go to the ocean, but we went out to eat and then hung out and he gave me back my keys, and told me that he felt empty without me...so for like a week we were good. but then sunday he decided to hang out with some girl all night....i found ( Read more... )

i found something to do!!! i'm going to a bookstore!! yay for me!!!!!! ...dammit though, i am not supposed to spend any money. oh well.

I'M SO BORED!!!! and it's rainy, and i can't spend any more money....and ben is not here...and all my friends don't want to leave the house, and i am not sure if i even want to leave....dammit....this sucks.

it's been raining practically non-stop for the past week. i'm near the ocean...and athough i love the ocean, i do not think i am ready to die by it yet...(knock on wood) ben has been watching tsumani videos all night...they scare me. and my christmas tree is tipping; it's potted, and just a little guy still. i don't understand why people don't ( Read more... )

i am back at ben's....i feel like i am slowly killing myself...my stomach hurts everytime i think of what has happened in the last week or 2 weeks...or month...will it happen again?? will i ever be able to trust him? i dont feel like i can. i try to, but then there are things that he does that doesn't make me trust him. i'm so confused. i ( Read more... )