One of my most irritating and most awkward Merk situations is when someone tells me things that they act were so obvious. I consider myself pretty clever and am queen when it comes to subtley and subconcious gestures that come from others. I love that I see things that the person themselves can not and when they realize, I can get that smug feeling ( Read more... )

I have to. God, I wish I was in another country. No, I wish I was in another life. I wish I was in another world where I wasn't me and I wasn't this. If I could just start all over and prevent it all and keep from becoming who I am. I wish I could live in the forest in solitude. I wish I was a plant that bloomed for a time and then died shortly ( Read more... )

Especially if you're the one winning. I am in such a good mood and I shouldn't be. Why do I love being vindictive? It makes me feel bad, but it does not match the level of delight I feel of watching people I despise suffer. I don't want them to die because everyone deserves to live and be happy. I truly believe that. But when they are selfish and ( Read more... )

Because all I did was play my video game. I got home early and from around 11 to 11, I did nothing but play Star Ocean. IT WAS FANTASTIC. I reached the frickin' hour long cinematic (no joke, I saved right before being ambushed about 5-6 times and from there it was all scene. I saved right after that and one hour and one minute had passed.) But, it ( Read more... )

Work is tiring, but when it's the only thing you really do in a day, it's not so bad. Still, it's only 9:30 and I'm freaking tired. The Office made it better, yet I wonder why I didn't play Star Ocean. Huh. Oh, well. It was a good day. I should say, a boring and thinking free day. ...Hmmm, I don't know if I like that... I have to think about this ( Read more... )

Sorry. I know it was supposed to everyday, but it kind of slipped my mind with the chaos. These last two days were good. I received new bedding and a cute shirt along with a hoodie. Both articles of clothing are plaid, have that rolled up sleeve thing ad have brown on them. Needless to say, I love them. I got to hang out with my big bro too which ( Read more... )

It sucks how easily a good mood can be ruined by other people. I was really happy, then I wasn't because I was reminded of how much other people don't have their shit together. But, I also have to remember that other people don't think like I do. Not that I necessarily want them to, but they should take some kind leaf from my book. I have so much ( Read more... )

I feel happier. About most things, general things. My friend gave me a Sylvia Plath and a Chuck Palahniuk book and I almost passed out from hypervenilating. At least it was humorous. I guess getting out stuff is good, even if the person you're talking to is the internet. I'm going to spend the next couple of days playing video games and reading ( Read more... )

I hate watching people I know die slowly inside. I hate it more when I actually like them and care for them, but can't do jackshit because my intentions are misunderstood. There is a way to actually be a friend without wanting to secretly fuck someone, you know. There's more to life than ones own selfish desires or needs. I am not going to say I'm ( Read more... )

I'm really feeling "that". That great desire to cry, but too tired to do it. If I'm motivated enough, I just might lie in my bed with the lights off and listen to horribly depressing music or music that makes me think of people and things I really want and can't have or miss. Because I really miss certain things and it's times like these that ( Read more... )