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You know, I haven't even been thinking about the impending new year. I think I was just trying to get through this one. But I did it. I said 2008 was gonna be my year and I do believe it was. For some reason I'm just really proud of myself that I got through it ( Read more... )

Skinny.
Inadequate.
High blood pressure.
Red face.
Clenched fists.
Clenched teeth.
Too much too much too much.
All at once.

Exactly as bad as I thought it'd be.
Only slightly numb.
Not enough medication for tonight.
Time to self medicate instead.

drinkdrinkdrinkdrinkdrinkdrink

I AM HAVING THE BEST SNOW DAY EVER!

My day has consisted of eggs, bacon and english muffins, followed by beer, pizza and super nintendo. Oh, and a mini dance party with a sweet mix cd. A nap may be on the agenda later on.
I do not mind being snowed in at all.

My life is so much better than yours.

:-D

I cried all night.
And woke up in a panic.
But it was more like tears leaking from my face than crying.
At least I can still do that?
Numbness=a level of control.

Too much loss.
As much as I need you to be invincible you're not.
I don't like being reminded of what it's like to lose.

trying to breathe.

I wish I was what you wanted.
I wish I was what you needed.
I wish I was enough for you.
I wish I wasn't what you wanted, thought you needed. I am in fact the worst thing to ever happen to you. You just don't know it yet ( Read more... )

I don't think I can cry.
Feeling someone else's pain, and reliving my own.
But for now I'm numb. So I can carry you.
It's what they both would have wanted.
Welcome to the club.

In other news, I am happy. And thankful. And mixed up. All of the time. Don't let anybody love you. Maybe that's why.

Last night, THE TERRORISTS DIDN'T WIN ( Read more... )

Pain is inevitable ( Read more... )

Today has been one of the most insane days of my life emotionally ( Read more... )