i honestly felt like really letting this go. i know i would never metally, but i felt like i really had to start just forgetting about the skeletal figure i wanted. that didnt last for too long. im back on track and i feel better than ever. i went for a 20 min jog and purged when i got back. i found out that its sooo muche asier to make urself ( Read more... )

I used to love the skinny voice in my head telling me to keep it up.. and distract me from food.. but when i want what i want, it tells me NO. i cant stand it anymore, and theres no way i can run from it. its controlled my life. i want to get away from everything, everyone i love and loved. its not fair. this isnt wat i pictured it to be ( Read more... )

i love being someone know one can see.

OMG! i thought i was doing soooo badly this week. i havent been to the gym since forever! but today, when i worked out, i worked off at least 550 cals. i weighted my self and im down to 119!! omg that makes me feel so confident.


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i dont know what id do without this little, skinny, inspirational voice in my head telling me to do more... expecting more from me. Shes grown inside of me, and thers nothing left. Heck, i wish i had no friends, no boyfriend, i just want her. id rather be thin than ANYTHING. its EXACTLY how i feel. maybe not so much with my boyfriend, but SOMETIMES ( Read more... )

ew ive had around 600 cals today.. i cant burn it off. im going to go tanning soon :) yay i love summer weather, i hope it hold up because im going swimming in toms pool tomorrow.. ew im too fat to. im definitly bringing a t-shirt to put over myself *yuck*. and no eating tonight or tomorrow at all! i didnt eat as i usually would when i babysat ( Read more... )

last night i went to the movies with tom. we saw the longest yard-it was FUCKING HILARIOUS! i definitly recommend watching it the next time u go see a movie and want to laugh hard. it was so stereotypical to penitentaries.. oh man! "I made him shit his pants!" fuck! that was jokes... ud have to see it to know what i mean. anyway ( Read more... )

lalala

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k i got bored in the matter of 5 minutes.. so i had to take some recent pics like i promised form the last journal update. so here they are. i was curious at what iw ould look like on camera.. some look fat and some look OK i guess..but not good enough to be happy. ill never be satisfied enough. But the pics i posted just before these ones was when ( Read more... )

( Me )