sooo tuesday, did something i didnt really think about, yikes. well ive been paying for it since lol i have bruises ALL over haha literally. Last time i go to beerys on a tuesday and pull an all nighter w mike kristin and libs hahahahaha. weird life haha last night i was at the bar from 830 to 430 great times at gores, i met this guy thats a model ( Read more... )

Ever notice when everything seems to be falling into place then out of nowhere, ALL this shit gets thrown at you to throw you off track? Yeah...totally happening to me haha. Like for instance, on saturday I ended up hanging out with Danielle, who I haven't seen in FOREVER and all my "friends" disappeered, and I was like really upset at like 3am and ( Read more... )

next step. all new things in my life. this is the beginning. yes. no more stagnation.

Sooo I guess I'll start from friday. I had dance rehearsal from 3 to 10, needless to say I was pretty exhausted but Kayla from the cast was having a party so Jon and I decided to go. I invited Jes and Chris along as well, so we get there and paul and jess where there! so of course the minute I walk in Paul shoves a jack daniels bottle in my mouth ( Read more... )

I'm feeling so depressed. I just need a friend. A real friend. Isn't karma something real? If so, god, i need my good karma now. I'm starting to realize how many people have no idea who i am. How do I keep on existing like this? Its the demons of my past that are chaining me down, ripping up my wings so that I cannot take flight. Its not fair. I ( Read more... )

Why is it that I always feel stuck? Am I ever going to feel happy? I'm sick of wondering the answers to these questions. I told my sister about my addiction problems and now she said shes being tormented by her knowledge. She still promised not to talk about it with my family but like, she wants me to tell my mom. I can't. I don't want to fuck her ( Read more... )

I can't break surface, i got caught in the under current and I don't know which way is up. My lungs are exploding begging for air, while im just spinning waiting to know where ( Read more... )

My mind has been in a whirlwind and I dont know how to get the storm to calm down. I'm not stressin though because you shouldnt have to convince someone to be with you. they either want to or not. and if not just walk away. I guess this is what they meant by you cant have your cake and eat it too. I'm just bored and im sick of it. I can't write, I ( Read more... )

OH YEAH

the fuckin cherry on my little "Fucked Up Life" Sundae...

I had to take my nipple ring out yesterday when i got my chest x-rayed (to find out all that good news) anddddd I couldn't get it back in.

So the hole closed up and now I am nipple ring-less.

It feels weird...like im ending a phase of my life.
or ending my life period haha.

COOL BEANS! ANOTHER HEALTH PROBLEM! now i have to give up smoking, the only fuckin thing left that brings my miserable existance some sort of pleasure. Apparently my lungs are shot to shit and i am dancing close to getting emphasyma (spelling?) I have to like use this inhaler and they put me on major steriods and all that fun shit! Yay sucking at ( Read more... )