Soon.

i think i just learned how to rock with extreme prejudice.

i just smoked weed out of an potato... being irish i feel this was inevitable and am surprised it took me this long, but the prevalence of potatos and the fabled irish laziness combined with the mysterious lack of irish vodka finally makes sense to me.

I spent $300 dollars in the last 7 days. I feel like, you know, I'm 21 now, and I should invest wisely, so I made a long term investment in serious liver damage. I know what you are thinking, you are thinking: "Bro, you need to diversify your portfolio and shit!" Well, I have also been investing in lung and throat cancer, and thanks to passing out ( Read more... )

Anytime the phone rings late at night it fills me with a sort of quiet dread. How many late night phone calls are good? It's probably either someone drunk dialing you to yell at you for your past indiscretions, or bad news. Good news so rarely comes unexpectdly in the middle of the night. My uncle Don died in a car crash tonight. He was a nice guy ( Read more... )

Friday is not only Cinco de Mayo but also international No Pants Day, which traditionally is celebrated on the first Friday in May. Also it is my 21st birthday. I attended my first picnic yesterday, good times. Thursday night I belive I will go to the pub and celebrate the begginings of my birthday and no pants day by drinking until my pants fall ( Read more... )

Let me tell you a story. It's about this guy, and this guy doesn't have a cell phone, right? So he gets lucky as hell and gets a free $120 phone, right? So then, he decides to go jetskiing, about 6 hours after getting his phone. Yeah, I don't want to spoil the ending or anything. BUT THE TWIST IS I'M THE GUY AND I FUCKING BROKE MY PHONE IN WATER ( Read more... )

i just went to take a shower, right.
and i pull the knob to start the water.
and then i pull the little thing to switch from bath to shower ( Read more... )

so a whole bunch of crap has happened since my last post, but i want to talk about one thing here.
i'm really depressed.
i was eating shrimp fried rice today, I was about half done when I realized that I had already eaten all the shrimp.
THERE WAS NO MORE SHRIMP.

hey guys ( Read more... )