I am sure one day I will wonder why the hell I was so heartbroken over you.

But today is not that day :(

I am done fighting my fate. I'm done trying to connect with other humans and pretend that my life should be anything but solitary. I never saw the point of life without people, but dammit if I don't hate them all. And since I can only do things at 0% or 100%, this is my message to the internet, to the ether... that I am 100% signing off. I'm done. ( Read more... )

why am I afraid of dying alone when that's how I've always lived?

I've never needed anyone.  I can live 2500 miles away from anyone who even knows who I am, because I don't give a damn.  Maybe I want people to care more than they are capable of.  Or maybe it was just me that they weren't capable of caring about.  All I know is I exist on the outside of the realm where the people interact and play in the mud ( Read more... )

Is your greatest love... the person whose death would affect you the most?  The person who inspires you to live and create?  The person who you know will treat you well even into your old age?  The person that you want to be around all of the time ( Read more... )

how about you're just a pussy and a lying sack of shit?

I had a dream that you were getting married.  I saw the invitation and my heart sunk to the ground.  But just for a minute-- just for a moment-- because I almost instantly concluded that all I had to do was stop it.  I got into the car and I drove across the country to crash your wedding, iconically like a movie scene, ready to burst in at the ( Read more... )

A: You would love me now.
B: ...loving you was never the problem.

I would love to love you, lover

it's funny, you know.  all that time i spend wrapped up in old blankets on the floor wondering if i made a mistake choosing to pursue dreams.  wondering if the reality was always in the people you know, wondering if i should have just chose early on the life on which i will most likely eventually settle.  spent my days working like i do now but ( Read more... )