I got back yesterday from my trip to zion national park in Utah. I have to say i really like doing the whole camping and hiking thing for a vacation. I went with my sister and nephew and met up with a group of other people. Our mistake was bringing my nephew who was too young to be hiking the 16 miles through the virgin river. It got deep a a few ( Read more... )

it's odd the way i fumble with my words. Today i was talking to co workers and i just lost myself in my own words. I didn't wish i could be able to talk better to other people but i just realized this is how i talk. I guess i should accept that i am not a very good conversationalist right now. Sure i can talk to people and be outgoing at times, but ( Read more... )

i've been doing bad lately because im not being my self. im being someone else who i do not like and i cannot stand. im tired of being quiet around everyone and feeling so anxious when im in that situation where i could say something. Conversation seems to come so easily to others but so very hard to me. Everyone tells me to just relax and open up ( Read more... )

i dont know if its normal to always think about having friends around. When i go somewhere alone i think about how nice it would really be if this friend could be here to enjoy it with me. i think i go these interesting places only so that i maybe be able to tell others that i went this this interesting place. And the sad part is that my mind is so ( Read more... )

I've had a pretty lousy week so far. I never enjoy a birthday and it was bad this year when i got into an argument with my sisters when i was take out to eat by my family. But i rather talk about going with my friends to lake isabella on sunday. I had a great time. I like doing and going to places where you can see nature doing its job without help ( Read more... )

if im not anxious and nervous about life than i am sad and depressed. i feel stuck in these polar opposite feelings. When i try to work towards something i start to put myself down and make myself think that it is not worth it. I'm trying to get back into school but as soon as i start to study to get into a school, i get overwhelmed and bored with ( Read more... )

there are times when i can look at what is going on in my life clearly and see what is really going on. I can see just how hopeless i am and how terrible i really am at social situations. I don't even think i can call myself shy because i am way beyond that. It's so frustrating because all i ever wanted since i started high school was friends and ( Read more... )

this weekend was mostly spent at home. i didnt even ask my friend if she wanted to hang out this weekend because i was feeling a bit lousy. And especially because i don't want to be all quiet around her sister, who usually hangs out with us. Yes i still have this crush on her that i don't know how to deal with. I don't even believe i would be ( Read more... )

ive seen it all and i have lived none of it. im not falling nor am i going up in any direction, but i keep myself in limbo where nothing ever happens. i am tired but i am satisfied where i am. i am tired of my life. when something challenging comes up and i am unable to meet it. it is safe, though, to be who i am because when im isolated i can just ( Read more... )

last couple of days i was at my friends house staying over. I hung out with her and her friend and her sister. I like her sister and like to try and talk to her when she is over to her place but i also get nervous talking to her. I sometimes feel like she might actually like me too, but like yesterday most of the time i feel like she is just ( Read more... )