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feels
i just dont feel safe.. or complete or rested when i tuck myself into bed when i am tired or just lazy. i lay there and its just something is so empty. its like the most accurate and pathetic feeling of loneliness i could ever imagine. just someone there to appreciate my presence and i theirs. so simple and so overlooked. and knowing i can ( Read more... ) -
ramble
there is nothing more saddening than bringing up topics i think are quite interesting, amazing in fact, and getting no response. or worse, a flat out negative one. i remember, on a little road trip, i was talking of how just crazy it was that people, not so long ago, only had a limited variety of music to listen to. what we, today, would call ( Read more... ) -
maybe i should make something clear
the new job, new man, and new roommates thing didn't really pan out quite as planned. it was unsatisfying, he was crazy, and by then i decided i wanted to fucking bail. so here i am, completing a business degree from LCCC. it's tortuous. it's so not me. and now I am faced with the choice of what to fucking do next. thing is: i don't want to ( Read more... ) -
problem with journals is
i hate rehashing things. and really i almost think i hate remembering things, too. good or bad. good is sad because its like well fuck. bad is bad because it just brings up those emotions and makes me realize shit hasnt changed much in the past fucking what, five years. perhaps ive made some strides and i just don't..appreciate them or hardly ( Read more... ) -
that month flew by
I still feel prettyy awful about that whole situation. IO got my housing ID for free though. Ill be working at the Coral Reef in EPCOT. I can have fun some days. I had fun on Wednesday with my roommates, EPCOT, AK, HS, and MK, all in one day. we hardly did anything substantial. Thursday I saw him and did not expect to and it was a shit show ( Read more... ) -
so im in florida
and some guy sorta let me down in a huge way and i cant get over it since then its been over a week but this week has been hell i lost my housing ID i almost lost my debit card i got kicked out of BDUBBSSSS YO ive had shitty nights i got my pin back i dont know if i should extend i dont know what people are going to do i wake up with a huge fucking ( Read more... ) -
patrick
I dont know the exact reason I feel so upset about YOU. i can think of many reasons to not like you now, and have really gotten along fine up until now. but as i think about us, and start to finally accept that we did have good times that i may miss, i feel different. i realized how much i put you on the highest pedestal i ever could and i felt ( Read more... ) -
start
of food journal ( Read more... ) -
I probaby haven't updated in awhile.
I will just jot down things I can remember. Memorial day weekend?? There was the Senior tea that Friday which I ended up bailing on because my mother embarasses me so much. The day before was Matt strohls birthday we got pizza n shitt. I thinkkk the week before was bergers lake house which was so much fun cept I went to bed early and Erin ( Read more... ) -
Prom
It was awesome eighties and it was sort of awesome. I went with Adam and took pictures at kennys pughs house and keny took us to the woodlands. The set up was nice we sat at an orange table with one random couple and the table came with sunglasses and fishnet gloves and rock candy. Our gifts were picture frames and the guys got thermoses because ( Read more... )