Didn't realise someone was dead, saw a body on a stretcher, didn't realise it was dead.....a stabbing amongst the immigrant community.

How I wish I had good hair....worrying about it is pointless......but at  times saddens me.

As though this is what was meant to be. Felt a huge sense of vocation....I know that is where I should be....where I belong....was actualy the only 'male' from a class of 16.....why do I end up as the only male in so many classes?.  Was previously the only male in a language teaching course also. Shame about being male......that's the greatest ( Read more... )

Last night....enjoyed it ....but felt guilty.....

Amazing how a mind can clear when it's given a break....attempting to clear confusion can actualy cause more....for some reason the harder I try the more confused I become....given a break my thinking actualy clears to a large extent....paradoxicaly the less I try the better I become.

fails....because there was -no water- in the machine .....some form of blockage....aboslutely shocking result.....mixture of pink/red/cream and salt...all in various strengths.....Fawlty Towers like.....absolute catastrophe....although the pants itself cost just 9Euro in penneys....despite being of a high qaulity material....must be from one of ( Read more... )

Fairly sure now that this page isn't the one which was traced to a family member....had an uncomfortable weekend  with a family member home.....feel wasted in the family home....as though I'm wasting my life here....not much to offer me here....and I'm tired of having to assert my right to exist....or begging mum to accept me...I'm tired of that... ( Read more... )

As a rarely used bebo page...with very few personal details ...and not even using my personal name.....has apparently embarassed a senior  professional family member....perhaps it was my membership of gay or Trans organisations....publicly listed...or my joke about not enjoying being  man...either way it has compromised a significant person...so I' ( Read more... )

Didn't realise how much I missed the academic system until I returned.....miss it so badly.....when I received my first assignment I realised just how much I love academia....and how much I miss being a part of it....I hope this leads me back where I belong. The course has been extended by 2 days.

Uncles pub r.i.p.

Now that I am blending in with a conventional male hairstyle....somewhat 'gay' dress code but essentialy male appearance....I'm rarely stared at now....rarely receive much attention....I no longer fear judgment ( Read more... )

Overall I'm really happy to be returning to the Educational realm.....it's the right thing to do...However it does mean fairly orthodox presentation....and in my case orthodox male presentation.....which is ok for a short time....but long term deeply disturbs me...that's when I loose doubts about my T-S identity....The concept of a lifetime in such ( Read more... )