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Life in my world
You now how you think things will get better and then they just seem to get worse? Well that's my world right now. My boyfriend is in jail. I'm living in a house that needs major repairs and his sonis being a prick about it. Sometimes I just get so sick of men and their controling ways. But to honest the women aren't any better. I guess it's a good ( Read more... ) -
Time Marches On
Well, baby Emily died on July 29th and I still haven't dealt with it. kinda my style, I suppose. My daughter has been out of control. we got into a fight and it got physical and I ended up with bruised ribs. then she got into a fight with the new future daughter in law and actually took the worst of it. she says she knows she needs help, but has ( Read more... ) -
To My Unborn Grandchild
For the baby I'll never know
My sweet you were dignosed with a fatal illness
Long before you were ever born
But know that you were greatly loved by one and all
More than we ever thought could be possible
We begged and pleaded with every god imaginable
But were not to be granted our wish
That you would be born happy and healthy
But we loved you ( Read more... ) -
Love Bites
They say the road to true love is a rocky one. Will I for one am sick and tired of all the pit falls. If love creates all this pain then why play the game? I've been playing for eight years and I'm tired. I know how things are, but why should I sacrfice and get nothing but sex in return? I have never asked him to leave his wife, why does he make so ( Read more... ) -
But DAMN
It's been a really long year and I am just so tired of fighting. Since I became disabled life has just sucked. I've lost most of my friends and nearly lost my boyfriend. On the good side my kids are doing fine and I have a new grandbaby. That really makes me feel old and tired. I know I'm depressed again, because I'm thinking about cutting again, ( Read more... ) -
Life
Life, why are we forced to live it? I for one am tired of all the bullshit. Friends that are only friends when it suits them, then off to the next great adventure without a thought to who they leave behind. Lovers that only love you when you are perfect and when the going gets a little rough they back way off. Family that love you in their own sick ( Read more... ) -
Another tearful sleepless night
To My Darkness ( Read more... ) -
I becoming a hermit
Ok it's offical, I'm becoming a hernit.It's not like I have to ever leave my house for anything again. I can have groceries delivered, order clothes online, pay bills from my computer. So, what is out there that I really want or need......nothing. I can't live with the panic that I feel everytime I leave the house now. It's nearly paralizing and I ( Read more... ) -
The conversation I want to have with the man I love, but never will
I know I've been hard to deal with since my meltdown a few months ago and I know that you are stressed, depressed, and sick, but I miss the way things were then. Then there were four of us and as much as I hate one of the four, I long to go back to that time. You were caring and affectionate then, with a casual touch here and there to let me know ( Read more... ) -
Just another year
Somehow I thought 2007 would be better for me. It seems that won't be the case. I get to start the new year with no job, a depression that reaches the depths of darkness and a loneliness that has swallowed my soul. I have never asked for much in life. A few good friends, to be able to live comfortably and someone to love me. I guess that last is ( Read more... )