( Read more... )

[Bro's voice has a certain edge of amusement in it, layered on top of the usual emotionless drawl.]

Taking a traditionally romantic holiday item and amplifying the sexual assault undertones for a curse. Top marks, City, even if I could do with something a little less invasive of my time and space. I find myself longing for the days when an internet ( Read more... )

Dear Corpulent Pagan God/Portly Brand Warrior/Materialist Saint of Jiggling Paunch

I haven’t ever written to you before because frankly, I’ve never been quite that naïve. You’ve never functioned in any sort of actuality in my life, not even in my years with Dave, as I’ve always thought him better than the sheep: those strictly adherent to your reign ( Read more... )

Hey, so, here's a question for alla you. I realise the shittyass apartment life's probably trendy for some of you, shit's insane when you're used to living with your mom or something.

But it ain't my style anymore. So tell me, where's a guy get his hands on a condo, or a sweet fucking house. Price not an issue.

[ooc: The Years That Never Were, Bro's ( Read more... )

you know the strider family motto, dave.
when nothing else works on your fucking mystical knobface fever, use the magical spring recommended to you second-hand by a dickhead scientist.
years we've had that shit framed over our fireplace.
passed down through the generations with care.
memorized by each new strider child the moment they learn their ( Read more... )

there's a big deal being made out of nothing today, looks like.
seems to me like there ain't actually that much to freak out about.
unless we're talking about my sick beats.
in which case, mea maxima culpa but i can't help this mad frenzied mob, all of these serious cases of the vapours, the screaming immigration of the unaccounted for: shit's what i ( Read more... )

[There’s this really cool dude, okay? He’s probably staring at the camera, only he’s wearing this pair of sweet pointy anime shades so it’s hard to tell. Maybe he’s not even looking at the camera at all. Maybe he’s far too cool for cameras, but you’ll never know, ‘cause you can’t see his eyes. But if you wait long enough and don’t do anything lame ( Read more... )