I love the sound of the rain ( Read more... )

Today I leave for California quite unexpectedly, with mother and father and sister in tow.  Ironically, I didn't expect this when I felt so driven to return home during my dysphoric depression, but perhaps we were all being guided by something ( Read more... )

A more thoughtful post, to even out the earlier emo.

Throughout my childhood my parents fostered, sometimes forced, my independence.  This came in many ways, some general and deeply profound: "Pick your gender, your sexuality, your religion." This was accomplished through letting me dress and outfit myself however I wanted, attend whatever religious ( Read more... )

...then you probably shouldn't read this.  I'm half-ashamed of writing it at all.

I have dysphoric days.  The doctors told me I would, my parents warned me, everyone told me they will come.  And they do - rarely, not very often at all, perhaps not even enough to matter - but when they are here, it is all I can think of, all I can see, all I can ( Read more... )

Okay.  Normally I would prefer to cleanse myself of negative energy than dwell in it but, as my mood apparently indicates, this isn't going anywhere until I do something more concrete to purge myself of it.  Therefore I'll write it out of my system.

I had surprise-church this morning.

A couple days ago an old, old friend of mine called and invited me ( Read more... )

I worship pancakes.  Of almost any stripe.  They are a fixture in my family for holidays and special occasions.  Birthdays were pancake dinners.  For Christmas we have had pancake feasts.  My mother and father, pancake chefs of the most eminent variety, make every kind of pancake known to man: blueberry, chocolate chip, strawberry, cinammon swirl, ( Read more... )

Ten simple things that bring me joy, from the ridiculous to the sublime:

1. Sylvia Plath's poems "Mirror" and "Mad Girl's Love Song"
2. Bach cello suites. (Solo cello No. 2 in D minor BMV 1008. II. Allemande)
3. MAC tinted lipglass in Nico Now
4. MAC liquidlast liner in Point Black and glitter eye liner in Pewter Pink.
5. Banana nut muffins and chai ( ( Read more... )

"White magic(k) is a poem.  Black magic(k) is whatever works."

- attributed to Victor Anderson

I thought it would be worthwhile - for me, at least - to record a bit of my gender-history, or my me-history, since really it's all one in the same thing....to remind myself later of how I got here, and who I am.  (Thank you,
( Read more... )

I usually write you love letters, yes, I do, because my mother taught me to do that when I was young - but today, just today, I would like to sit here with my poison pen and address you ( Read more... )