The truth is, Im afraid and I think you are too.  This is exactly what I don't need and you're making it seem so easy for me to let go.  But it only seems easy bc i do not find it easy.  And then I just feel like a weak person.  And I do not want to be weak.  I don't know what to tell you to do.  You don't know what to tell me to do.  And we both ( Read more... )

 oh unrequited love, will you never cease?

i dont want this week to ever end. ive been wanting to paint my toe nails since 9 last night and im thinking this is a good time to take care of that. some one told me i was one of the most respectable girls he knows today. thats possibly one of the most meaningful compliments ive ever gotten. i only want what matters in my life right now. no ( Read more... )

my life is always going in the complete opposite direction of everyone around me. there are a lot of things i want to say, but ill keep them to myself as i usually do because i dont know the details or the reasons behind your behaviors. i am but one tiny morsel of this world. there is a huge picture that i dial out during times like this. theres up ( Read more... )

 judging by the recent updates ive gotten from the internet about peoples lives..i would say im pretty grateful that i practically dont exist anymore.  not that it was my choice and for once, it was not due to lack of effort on my part.  well, whatever the case, this is how it is and because of this, i have absolutely nothing holding me back.  just ( Read more... )

home from chicago. my grandfather on my dad's side died completely unexpectedly on the 11th.  his wake was on valentines day, his burial the day after, and a 21 gun salute the day after that.  i have never been anywhere with more people than the amount that showed up to his visitation.  and every single one of them couldnt explain in words how much ( Read more... )

going through my itunes after not being able to for many months makes me realize how much my taste has really changed. its a little weird for me because i can totally see the connection between that and my life.  i dont think im a different person but ive definitely grown.  theres not much on my ipod that i am really satisfied by listening to.  ( Read more... )

 i dont have much to say about 2007.  it had its ups and downs, and ultimately i dont care much to look back on it.  nothing really worth my thought really happened.  not to be a pessimist.  just a realist ( Read more... )

Finals make me want to puke my brains out.  I don't really mind doing projects and homework and stuff.  I mean, of course I procrastinate and i dont LIKE it...but finals...studying...i dont know, i just cant seem to focus because i cant really see the big picture.  I dont really want to be in college, and knowing that im taking next semester off ( Read more... )

my therapist told me to write a letter to my dad expressing my anger towards him.  she said i dont have to send it to him or anything, i just need to get it out.  so far ive tried to write 5 letters, each of which has turned out to be me apologizing to him and expressing sorrow instead of anger.  i really dont have time for this.

in the next week i ( Read more... )