There was a time when I was not so weak,
My future did not seem quite so bleak.
Spirit was full, and energy high,
But this came to a halt, and I'm wondering why.

Lost and lonely,
Empty and numb.
Hardened, embittered,
My heart weighs a ton.

Longing for something?
But I don't know what.
Can't figure it out,
My mind's open,
Then shut.

Take me.
Shake me.
Make me ( Read more... )

Racing inevitably to a dead end ( Read more... )

Fumbling ( Read more... )

Yep. Right now. Sorta. But actually, yeah.

And also,
Why has The Hills been on for the past forever tonight??

*If "Tuesday" is Monday, then Wednesday's late, and Friday's  absent.

I must want something that I don't have.  Is that what lack of happiness is a result of??

If it is... I wonder what I want. ...And where I can get it.

And if I can get it.

Empty stomach.    Empty eyes.    Empty heart.

Empty mind?

...Unfortunately not.

And what a feisty thing this little guy became.  It seemed as though he was always on the move, always trying to go somewhere.  I can remember him as a baby, as soon as he learned to stand, he would morph into some ape-like creature and try to climb out of his crib.

My six-year-old self would think, “Wow. He’s so smart.”

And even as a toddler ( Read more... )

I'm always trying to run away.  To escape.

But really, I have nowhere to go.
And no purpose for being anywhere.

Where does that leave me?

Unwanted
Unloved
Empty
Lost
Alone
Inadequate
Hopeless
Pathetic
Useless
Stupid
Worthless

Why am I unlovable?