****Still working out the kinks ( Read more... )

To put it succinctly, I live in a state of arrested terror that the men in my life will think I'm in love with them. The absurdity of this wholly irrational fear is not lost on me, but I have been unable to put it aside. In all my 29 (almost 30, oh God…) years I have always been like this. God forbid I find myself attracted to a man. Even worse if ( Read more... )

Everyone says you can't choose who you love. I've never subscribed to that sentiment, as everything in life points to the contrary. You can not help who you like, maybe. Who interests you, who fascinates you, who has just the right magnetism to reel you in. But the people who stay; friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives - in the very ( Read more... )

I guess he's getting a lot of flack from his fam/friends about you, from what I'm reading. I don't give a flying fuck about him, in all honesty. Who I care about is you, and I suspect you're feeling the pressure too ( Read more... )

I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry if that hurts you. I'm not interested in pretending. Not again.

I have very little ability to resist something I want, even if it's to my detriment. Is this a me thing or a human thing? I wonder..

Also feel like poo today. Not sure if it's because I ate something I didn't want or if I'm hungry as hell and the drug is keeping me from feeling it.

I love you, you know ( Read more... )

It has taken me awhile to decide if I like him. We have the strangest friendship, alternating between both comfort and defensiveness. Sometimes I think we are so unsure of each other because we are, in our private ways, so very much alike. Both very guarded, both very mistrusting, vulnerable and walled in. We've both been hurt and it shows ( Read more... )

Beautiful people rarely stop to realize the impact they have. Usually they just move through your world, if you're lucky (unfortunate?) enough to have one in your life. In all my life, I've seen a total of three beautiful people up close. The breathtaking, heart stops in my chest, can do nothing but stare at them type of beautiful ( Read more... )

Why do I bother with this? I don't need it. No one cares. And honestly - I'm happy. Aside from the little everyday normal life bitches, what is there to write about?