Happy birthday to me,
I'm stuck in Jersey.
I really have to pee,
and I have work at three.

Thank you, thank you. Now to take care of that third verse part there.

Until next time,
Jay.

So I forgot to mention that HBO is filiming a fucking documentary about my drug use and abuse. They've been tailing me with fucking cameras since my court date. I guess I've gotten so used to it it's not a big deal anymore. But it still fucking sucks. And there's still, fucking 3 to 5 months left of rehab. They already got me going through heroin ( Read more... )

So was it Friday night? Yeah, Friday night Nikki flew up. Fuckin' people who can afford planes. I'm shit broke right now, and it blows like Kevin on a good day. But Friday didn't suck. I'm still refusing to look at it as selling my body for some good chow. She wanted romance, so I delivered. I think she was pretty pleased ( Read more... )

So much to write about and I gotta go to fuckin' work ( Read more... )

Know what doesn't suck? Getting laid. And know what's even hotter than getting laid? Jay getting laid. And it gets even hotter ladies and gentlemen, when it's Jay getting laid by Nikki, the dancing one ( Read more... )

Waking up this early fuckin' sucks it. Especially when you know you're walking to fucking rehab.

( 'Jay and Silent Bob' Star Ordered to Rehab - Actor Had Warrant Out For Arrest )

I wonder if Lunchbox has got a journal too. That way I can read about all his secret desires, like how he wants to fuckin' bang me because I'm just too fuckin' hot too handle, shit like that. Then I can make him cry like a schoolgirl [again]. Life is sweet ( Read more... )