ok. i want to make sweet sweet love to the new fiona apple cd. and angelina jolie.

welly well, it is about time to go back to chicago, the city that never fuckin wakes up. here begins my mad dash to pack everything i own within the next five hours.

me: i'm getting a sex change! i'm getting a sex change!
my mom: you'd be a REALLY small boy.

i don't see why my mom has to go and crush my goddamn dreams all the time. good point, though. i'll put off the sex change for now, and try to find other ways to solve my problems. like feminism, maybe.

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i turned 19 yesterday. i didn't really accomplish anything, other than getting wasted by 3:12 pm and passing out on my couch by 5:00 pm. i am talented ( Read more... )

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my mom: ok, what place am i thinking of? it starts with a b and there are a lot of hobos there!...oh, bowery!

later:
my mom: what is that thing i am thinking of?...(hand motions)...that thing that starts with an s!
skyla: charades?
my mom: yeah!

Dear Dr. Kevorkian (or do you go by Dr. Death now ( Read more... )

so, tommorrow, august 1st, at 7:00
there is going to be a performance at caroline's, in times square,
by "group of names," called "real new york comedy show"
and i am going to be in it.

some of you massachusetts people should come and surprise me and see it. it's only a 6 hour drive!

yeah, i know. fuck you, too.

morganna: i think 59th street is that way ( Read more... )