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(Untitled)
I've decided I'm a dumb angsty person for all the previous entries I've written. But should I delete them? I mean, they are the only record of past emotions, even though they are dumb as dumb. I think I'm going to stick with not thinking much about things since that's been good in the past. -
Insomnia again.
I think there really is a problem. Sleep deprivation due to anxiety. And I keep hearing noises that I invent are people breaking into the apartment. So i guess that could mean i have mild PTSD symptoms too, still. It's like going into an alarmed state of panic, where the cost of your fears coming true override the benefit of snapping out of it and ( Read more... ) -
Can't sleep
A good indication of when my thoughts become too much to handle is when i start journaling again. That's probably also why all my entries make me sound like a crazy, angsty person. One huge problem i have is taking responsibility for other people's feelings/lives. By that I mean, when my mom was making choices that I thought were poor, I would ( Read more... ) -
at this rate no one reading will think i'm sane
Ok, i know it sounds like exaggeration because obviously there no actual official end to any friendship. It's just that I know how these things go since i've experienced it time and time again, and i guess i think simply that when the only common denominator you have gets taken away, there really isn't much left. The friendship really wouldn't be ( Read more... ) -
isn't it funny how things change so rapidly?
All i ever need is reassurance. Plus I'm pmsing. I'm so glad only two people read this. -
things on my mind...i only post when i'm sad i guess?
All i've wanted for a really long time is to have a good relationship with my parents. I'm the one putting myself out there so they can actually know me, and i'm the one feeling guilt over not spending time with my dad. I'm the one telling them things that parents would normally hastle their kids about telling them. I'm the one trying to be real. ( Read more... ) -
sigh
It turns out a song i wrote about myself actually describes my mom when sung in the 3rd person. All I did was change a few of the lines but suddenly i get the sad realization I'm just like her in a deeply hidden way. Every line either means so much or something hidden but I guess all writers experience that when they're writing about personal ( Read more... ) -
Happy Mothers Day
Can't get hold of her though ( Read more... ) -
Writer's Block: Life Changing Experiences
Well obviously that one day was a life changing experience. It forced me to move away from everyone, caused tensions between me and my dad, and gave me all kinds of new strange habits. For instance, for a while after I didn't go to bed with out scissors or a hammer under my bed, and couldn't be home alone without freaking out. I also carried the ( Read more... ) -
new realizations about the use of italics
When you type in italics, everything you say becomes a potential song lyric, even if not intended so
i think the boy is tipsy
and this is not a metaphor
he follows the line "I might be drinking" with "I'm really glad we met"
"I used to check you out so much"
"my phone might die soon"
and not to mention expired beer
is all they have to drink
^^ this would ( Read more... )