ohgosh, it's been a really long time since i've written in this.
which was a good thing, honestly ;; if i'm writing an entry,
it means things aren't good. note to self :: avoid livejournal.

these past two weeks have been a living hell for me.
i could not wait to get back to campus, to the freedom
that i had first semester and the friends that i'd made
in ( Read more... )

so far, school has been pretty awesome. soccer is definitely
picking up, i've been hanging out with the girls a bit more and
feeling much more a part of the team. i'm getting in a little bit
of better shape, too, which has been really great.

i'm just worried about social life, i guess.
i've been meeting a bunch of people and hanging out and
it's been ( Read more... )

so i've officially been a college student for just over a week.

classes haven't been too bad yet, but i know they're going
to pick up really soon, since last week was the first week
here.  i have to remember though, that i'm not a senior in
high school anymore and senioritis has to go out the door.

social life has been pretty awesome ;; the twins are
( Read more... )

for the past three years of my life, since i was
fifteen years old, i have woken up every day
knowing i had someone there. i talked to a
boy on the phone and told him i loved him and
knew he would be there for me no matter
what. i talked about marriage, i planned a
wedding, i picked out houses we liked, i
named kids. and suddenly, i'm all alone. i
made a ( Read more... )

everything is changing so fast, and i'm scared
to death, but i cannot wait for it to finally hit. [:

things with nick and i are falling apart and i feel
like my attempts to save them are just frustrating
me more and going unnoticed  by him. i don't
know, part of me wants to give up on the whole
thing, but a part of me just won't let go of him yet.

i ( Read more... )

insecurity is kicking back in, mann.

ha, so nick called me jolly green giant today.
and then he changed it to female hulk.
yay for being a beastly freak of nature.
i definitely see why he wants me around..?   [:

dammit, i'm a fucking man.
 maybe i should be a dyke.

plus he mentions krystle AND briana every
single time that we hang out. which is really
cool ( Read more... )

so it was like 70 degrees yesterday.
gorgeous, sunny, warm breeze ..
everything a typical spring day is.
friday, it's supposed to be a high of
40 and a "wintry mix" all day.
new york is a joke. spring, my ass.

i'm moving to virginia, like, tonight. [:

besides the dumb weather playing
with my head, things have been alright
lately.  i get in my tired "my ( Read more... )

i'm always the emotional asldkjfla;s.
always the relationship ruiner.
it really works out quite well.
maybe i'm supposed to die as an old
maid. or a nun. or a fucking spinster.
or whatever. because i can't hold onto
a relationship to save my life anymore.
woot, worst case of insecurity ever! =[

i'm not going to write you a love song,
cuz you asked for one ( Read more... )

definitely having one of those
" everyone is out to get me,
nobody really likes me,
everyone is going to leave me,"
type weeks.

it's super frustrating, and i keep telling
myself i'm just being paranoid, but i
haven't slept well in a week because of
it and i've been having crazy retarded
dreams about it all when i DO sleep.

i know my friends are there for me ( Read more... )

mock started today ;; it seriously entertains me.
we have practices over regents week, but that's
okay. haha regents week , i definitely can't wait.

i decided i need to hardcore start losing weight,
so i'll go to the gym & eat better & whatever. it'll
be good for me, i need it. then i'll be happier.  =]

six months is like three weeks from saturday,
pretty ( Read more... )