hm. so. fascinating past few days.

too many details and i'm not feeling
too detail'esque haha, but there's way
too much drama with the girls, and i
don't know what to do about it. i love
them to death and i hate us falling apart,
i just don't know how to fix it. i mean,
hang out. but ergh, i'm never hommee.

i hung out with meghan. that was really
awesome, ( Read more... )

i'm so bored it's ridiculous.

tomorrow should be really dull
until work. and work is dull, too.
eh, chill days are alright sometimes.

then cape cod.
:: jumps for joy.::

then soulfest. <3
i'm wicked excited.
it should be good.

note to self:
- don't get your hopes up for
anything at any point in time.
it's only a way to set myself
up to get hurt, so don't bother ( Read more... )

i think my left arm and my face are superbly
sunburnt. but it was worth it. i enjoyed today :]

so i talked to devin tonight about everything.
and i think we're going to be okay. i think that
we can be normal friends and not hate each
other entirely. hopefully it'll work out okay .. ?

i really miss nick. and i don't think i'm going to
see him until movie ( Read more... )

get over yourself ,
people are mad at you,
you can't always win,
& i'm sick of your pride.
please move on,
there are better things
in this world than you. :]

i'm ready for cape cod
to be over and soulfest
to be here already. <3

[ something's closing in & i can't do a thing,
  no, i can't do a thing  [ but wonder. ]  <3 ]

okay, so attleboro was quite possibly the best experience of my
whole entire life.  the peace and joy that i got out of the weekend
were things i had never felt so strongly before, and i never want
to let those graces go.  adorations were both unbelievable; to be
honest, i couldn't really describe them if i talked for three weeks
straight, so i'm not ( Read more... )

so yesterday hanging out with everyone was really good.
i felt like nick was kind of annoyed with me, but it happens.
i just feel bad that i dragged him out when he was so tired.
sigh. i'm too selifish for my own good sometimes.
i should have let him go home and sleep, he probably
would have been happier then, too. ergghhh.  forgive me?
after that i went ( Read more... )

ohmyy.

so i discovered yesterday that the guy i dated for so long
officially had to have left the body of devin mcdonald.
someone else had to have taken over, because that is
not the kid i fell in love with. wow. i'm honestly, actually
in awe of how dirtbaggy he's gotten since we broke up.

like, i knew he liked clare. i knew he was flirting with her
( Read more... )

i hate crying.
i hate being miserable.
i hate caring.
i hate douchebags.
i hate feelings.
i hate time.
i hate my heart.
i hate drama.
i hate being hurt.

but i love people.
i love too easily.
i forgive too fast.
i bring hurt on myself.
i am way too naiive.
... and i miss love.

does that make me
a horrible person ?

... i don't really care.

prayers are .. needed?

just ( Read more... )

i adoree not sleeping.

like, i really seriously enjoy just talking
to people and eating and doing nothing
at all and not going to sleep. is that bad?

anyway, after pretty much a nap last
night, i'm super refreshed and i feel
a lot better about a lot of things. today
being one of them. whatever happens
happens and it'll all play out the way
things are meant ( Read more... )

so i've decided.

my life is a joke. a huge, complicated, twisted joke.
God must have an insane sense of humor. forreal.

i just don't understand myself sometimes. and like,
my mind. and my heart. and where they see eye to
eye. and where they collide horrifically. for example?
right now.  and damn, i hate guys. ergh. i just don't
even know where i am with ( Read more... )