I wouldn't sleep with me either.

Even though it's been five years and I get to be with my son whenever I'd like, I spend Birth Mother's Day angry and slightly sad followed by Mother's Day in which I just have a cloud that comes and sweeps over me and if someone were to make eye contact with me I surely would burst into tears.

For me, Mother's Day is way worse than missing his

All of this "it's not you, it's me." bullshit is getting fucking old.

I've been making lists, searching pictures, scanning my brain for triggers or things I've missed from other people to reassure myself. Finally came to the conclusion that the only reoccurring theme is me.

It's now 1.10 am ( Read more... )

....If I were to collect all of the bible verses all of my cousins, Aunts and Grandmother post on facebook, fairly certain I'd have the whole damn book in a week. I'm not saying that because I don't believe in god, my family shouldn't either.... Everyone has their own beliefs and I respect that totally. It just gets a bit ridiculous when every ( Read more... )

Amanda's babies died at home, at 1am this morning.

Have a heavy, heavy heart. They showed the doctors up and rallied to make it through the 10 days they were given and made it a little over a month.

I am so sorry, little guys.

My cousin Amanda had her twins via c-section a few days ago ( Read more... )

I'm not usually one to brag but I feel gloating is much needed today.

The cranberry pumpkin ginger upside-down cake is AMAZING. For not using a recipe at all and just making the ingredients up.. it rocks.

...happy bloody massacre and stealing of native american's land day!

Haven't seen him in a month.. A handful of one word texts is all I've had. The longer the month goes, the more I see this situation as unchanging ( Read more... )